Party Weaver

I am only contractually allowed to send out staff-wide emails when they pertain to March Madness (and one time about at-home communion supplies) but I hope you will extend to me an exception today as we celebrate Patty Weaver. 

The thing about Patty Weaver is, if you had a hundred people talk about her, each person would be able to say they have a unique relationship and connection with her. She is a person who wears many hats, a chameleon of weirdness who launches herself into your life and leaves an instant impression. As such, my relationship with Patty is distinctive and different from anyone else’s. Yes, she has been my boss for the last 15 years, from the time I was a lil’ baby 25-year-old entering my first real “career” job to now, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. Patty has been my wife’s surrogate mother for her entire life and is largely responsible for Lindsey becoming the kind, costume-loving, and responsible human being that I fell in love with when we first met so many years ago. She is a bonus grandmother to my son, going above and beyond to love, spoil, and care for him over his lifetime. And she has become a mentor and trusted voice, a relationship that transcends the employer-employee paradigm. In short, Patty is my family. 

Patty and I like to joke that there may be no two people in this world who love each other as much as we do who are as different as we are. She loves costumes and you literally never know what insane get up she’s going to pull out of her wardrobe; I loathe costumes and try very hard to stick to my bit of finding a t-shirt that fits every theme or occasion. She loves to entertain people at any personal cost, financial or otherwise; I abhor attention and like to stick to my little snarky remarks from the back row. She has a long list of words “we don’t say”; I like to joke that those are all of my favorite words (just joking, haha, totally a joke). Perhaps my worst day in ministry was the first time I had to do a horrifically embarrassing video for our Volunteer Appreciation Dinner, an event that found Patty in her element and me wanting to curl up on the ground, cry, and die. Perhaps my best day in ministry was the time Rick said “sucks” during an all-staff meeting and I got to gloat over how much she hates that word. Despite our differences, there are so many virtues and characteristics I love about Patty. Here are a few. 

You cannot speak about the virtues of Patty Weaver without calling attention to her generosity and hospitality. There is never a time that her home is not open to you, whether you are family, close friend, vague acquaintance, or total stranger on the street who says they really like Christmas decorations and would love to see the inside of your house. (This is a thing that literally happened.) If you need a place to stay, you can stay at Patty’s house, even if you have a dog that she hates. At Christmas and Halloween, she entertains thousands and thousands of people with elaborate sets and, of course, costumes. One year, I believe she had something like 14 gatherings happening at her house in the span of maybe three days. This is who Patty is. She is a great gift-giver and while loads of people say they like giving gifts more than receiving, she actually means it. She is never happier than when she is providing something for someone else, whether this is half her home to her family while they wait for construction to end on their own home or a random 20-spot to my son with the condition that he “spend it on something fun.” Generosity begets generosity and my kid has learned that first hand from Patty. 

Second only to her generosity is her combination of patience and grace. Ministry is hard, as you all know. Kids ministry is the hardest, if I may be so bold to say. Totally normal, level-headed, calm human beings absolutely LOSE THEIR MINDS when their kids are involved. If in heaven, we receive a jewel in our crowns for every time we’ve dealt with someone’s insane complaint without telling them to kick rocks, Patty’s crown will be like the Eiffel Tower. She never cracks, she never tells the complainer to kick rocks, she never yells back at the yeller, she just calmly and patiently listens and responds with kindness. Firmness, sure! But also kindness. The most you’ll ever get when she thinks you’re being dumb is a very aggressive, slow blink so, just a heads up, if she’s ever given you the slow blink, you were saying or doing something stupid. She thinks the best of people and extends to everyone the grace to mess up. Many years ago, we hosted a training during which the (awful) presenter spent his entire talk referring to Patty as “Tammy.” I promise you I would’ve yelled “Hey, dummy, my name is Patty” but at no point did she yell that, instead she just politely slow blinked and smiled, and to this day I call her “Tammy” when I want to annoy her so I guess she gets another little jewel every time I do that, you’re welcome, Tammy. 

For many people, the first thing that comes to mind when they think of Patty is Summer Spectacular. Since my wife has been the choreographer for these shows since she was a child, I have the unique perspective of someone whose home life and work life are intertwined with this event. It is exhausting and time consuming and difficult to put those shows together but there was never a time where Patty saw that as a weight. Instead, she led the way with unending energy and enthusiasm. When we expanded the show from three nights to six, she famously told us “it’s just three little ol’ hours” that we’d be adding to the ask for our volunteers. But what I’ve learned to recognize with Summer Spectacular as it pertains to Patty is that her drive to go above and beyond on the show isn’t about the costumes, the storytelling, the music, or the event itself, it’s about her desire to work with all her heart, to do all things for the glory of God, and if you’re doing something for God, you better do it well, spectacularly, even. There is no “well, that’s good enough” with Patty; it’s either “do it as well as it can be done” or “don’t do it all.” I respect this so much.

I think we all know how much Patty likes to have fun. We call her “Party Weaver” and she always lives up to her nickname. But it’s more than just costumes and hosting gatherings and things of that nature, it’s how she lives her life. It’s not that she isn’t serious about serious things, it’s that she’s not self-serious. There is nothing that is beneath her when it comes to making people happy, providing entertainment, or, most importantly, helping kids grasp the depth of Jesus’ love for them. She will look and act ridiculous if she thinks even one kid is going to connect this crazy lady in a jellyfish costume to the story of Jonah and the lesson therein. When she gets an idea in her head, no matter how outlandish, you mostly just have to roll your eyes and get on board. Once at a party at her house, she looked me square in the eye and said, “I think I can pick you up.” I said, “Dummy, I am much heavier than I look, there is no way you can pick me up.” But her mind was made up and so please see the attached picture wherein she attempted to pick me up, failed IMMEDIATELY and miserably, and cackled while I fell to the couch. I’m pretty sure this is an HR violation so I’ve been holding onto this picture for 13 years and waiting for her retirement so I can finally cash it in.  

But perhaps the biggest thing I have seen in Patty, admired, and tried to emulate is her extreme willingness just to show up. How many of you have been visited or had a loved one visited by Patty in the hospital? How many have received help from her at a wedding or funeral? How many of you has she taken to a doctor’s appointment? How many of your children have been blessed simply by the presence of, again, the crazy lady in the Statue of Liberty costume? I would guess very, very many of you have been impacted by Patty showing up in a time of need, either great or small. For I don’t know how many years, every Friday, Patty went and attended to (see: “ministered”) her mom, using her only day off for what she called a “Busman’s holiday” (a phrase literally no one has used for at least 100 years). And personally, the list of things she has shown up for are endless. She hosted Cooper’s first birthday. She came to my house for his fourth birthday and did a ridiculous pirate scavenger hunt. She did the flowers (and a whole lot more, let’s be real) at my wedding. She was at the hospital for hours when Cooper was born, which was fortunate for Lindsey and I but unfortunate for the poor gentleman who came out of another delivery room while Patty and I were talking in the hallway then followed Patty’s direction as to which room to go into when he got back from the cafeteria except Patty pointed out the wrong room and he walked in on someone else’s delivery room during what I imagine was a very bad time to walk into someone’s delivery room. I’m not sure that guy ever recovered but still, Patty showed up! I aspire to show up like she does but I don’t think I’ll ever get there. 

Thank you, Patty, for being a mentor, a friend, a mother and grandmother, the butt of my constant little jokes, the best boss anyone could ever ask for, and so much more to me, my family, and countless families along the way. Thank you for always doing what the Lord calls you to do, even when, or perhaps especially when, that calling is hard. Thank you for teaching me how to have patience, how to be hospitable, how to slow blink when I’d really rather yell at someone, how to handle sleights with grace, and most of all, how to love and care for all the kiddos and their families who have come through this ministry over these many years. Twenty years is a long time to be in service at one church but we know that your ministry doesn’t come to an end today. It will continue on long past the span of your own life in the generations and generations of kids who have been deeply impacted by your work at The Hills and Altamesa. The landscape of God’s Kingdom is lighted with the millions of little lights you’ve helped to ignite. May your retirement bring physical, mental, and spiritual health and strength and may you never doubt how much you are loved by the people here at The Hills.