Since The Blair Witch Project debuted in 1999, I have been intrigued by the concept of the found-footage film. Obviously I am not alone in that sentiment seeing as the genre has exploded over the last decade, resulting in a number of low-budget, low-quality films that consistently disappoint across the board. Still, however, I remain interested in the concept as a whole because I believe that, if it used correctly, the technique could lend itself to an outstanding film. Enter Chronicle.
Andrew Detmer (Dane DeHaan) is your typical high school nobody. He is routinely bullied, his home life is a mess, and he has only one friend, Matt Garetty (Alex Russell), a cousin who he isn’t really close to. As a defense mechanism, Andrew starts filming everything he does, earning the ire of just about everyone around him. At a party that Matt drags him to, Andrew is approached by the school’s most popular student, Steve Montgomery (Michael B. Jordan), who asks him to bring his camera over to check out what he and Matt just discovered. What they find is a deep hole in the ground that brings them into contact with a foreign object that imbues the boys with special powers. As the film cuts from scene to scene, we see the trio learning more and more about their abilities, beginning with simple telekinesis tricks like stopping a baseball in midflight and moving up to flying high above the earth with ease. But as they grow stronger, Andrew becomes more powerful than both Matt and Steve and he begins to abuse his powers, prompting a cataclysmic confrontation in the streets of Seattle.
Chronicle hits its projected target on just about every level. It is all at once a sci-fi thriller, a superhero origin story, and, possibly most importantly, a coming-of-age drama. Andrew, Matt, and Steve may be somewhat cliché but they embody their respective roles with ease and comfort. Their relationships, actions, and motivations are completely believable; they behave exactly the way you would expect three teenagers with brand new super powers to behave. These guys aren’t immediately concerned with changing the world for the better or using their powers for good; instead, they compile numerous hand-held shots of pranks and hijinks, toss a football around at 20,000 feet, and enroll in the school’s talent show. Meanwhile, though, Andrew’s worldview becomes darker and darker, bringing the narrative back around to the concept at the core of virtually every superhero film: with great power comes great responsibility. Andrew is set up not as an evil character but rather a mere boy who can’t handle the abilities he’s been gifted along with the emotions of a troubled youth. That is an important difference that keeps Chronicle from becoming the standard good-versus-evil affair and brings more depth to the film than I might have expected going in.
First-time director Josh Trank (rumored to be Marvel’s choice to helm the Fantastic Fourreboot) displays great talent but also great restraint. He meshes the teenage angst and drama beautifully with a score of high-quality special effects shots and sequences and never stretches his film too far. Chronicle is less than 90 minutes long and while I usually take that as a red flag, in this case it fits perfectly. Any longer and the film would have run out of steam. Instead, it finishes with a bang, an extended FX sequence that concludes exactly when and how it should. Moreover, Trank’s film is perhaps the first of the genre to properly incorporate multiple viewpoints. Most of the found-footage is taken from Andrew’s camera but throughout the film, Trank interweaves shots from several other sources, particularly in the final, explosive act.
Above all else, I think what sets Chronicle apart from just about every entry from the genre is that it is a good, worthwhile story without the found-footage aspect. Rather than using the technique as a crutch to prop up a pointless story or to simply provide cheap scares, Trank and writer Max Landis crafted together an excellent film that just happens to use found-footage as its medium. Overall, Chronicle stands as a compelling and sometimes thrilling film that represents perhaps the very best the found-footage genre has ever had to offer.
When I think of January movie releases, I generally fixate on bad action movies. Unfrightening horror movies are a big part of the month, too, but action movies display the soul of the January Film Calendar. This year alone we were treated to Contraband(meh), Haywire (well received by critics, not audiences), The Grey (a different breed entirely), and Red Tails(underperforming in every way), all of which outshined poor little Man on a Ledge. If any January action film sums up the lackluster nature of the pre-Oscar releases, it’s this one, a hodge-podge of lazy plot points and painful clichés.
Man on a Ledge begins with Nick Cassidy (Sam Worthington), who we learn later is an ex-cop and a prison escapee, renting a room in a high-rise Manhattan hotel and promptly walking out onto the ledge (duh) 20+ stories up. This action catches the eye of onlookers from the street and soon cops rope off the area and send in Lydia Mercer (Elizabeth Banks), a haunted police negotiator who Nick requests by name. As she digs deeper into his story, Lydia becomes convinced there is more here than meets the eye and soon Nick lets it be known that he has taken these drastic actions in order to clear his name of the crime that sent him to prison, that being the theft of a $40 million dollar diamond from real estate mogul David Englander (Ed Harris). As it turns out, however, all of Nick’s exploits are done with the intention of distracting the cops while his brother, Joey (Jamie Bell), and his girlfriend, Angie (Genesis Rodriguez), break into Englander’s vault across the street to steal the item he was falsely accused of stealing in the first place.
The most amazing thing about Man on a Ledge is that director Asger Leth was able to assemble such a large collection of quality actors for such a droll film. Worthington, Banks, Bell, Harris, Anthony Mackie, Kyra Sedgwick, Titus Willever, Ed Burns…everywhere you look, there’s a recognizable face. And yet most of these faces are given next to nothing to work with. Harris delivers a watered-down-but-acceptable version of his role in A History of Violenceand Banks is, as always, lively and entertaining to watch. Even Worthington is good-enough, though his inability to hold his accent borders on Cageian levels. In fact, if I may be so bold, the scenes in which Nick is actually out on a ledge, often speaking with Lydia, are solid. Not great, mind you, but certainly above average for a January action film.
But just about every positive is overwhelmed by a decisively more aggressive negative. Every scene that focuses on Joey and Angie is awful. AWFUL. And I mean EVERY scene. Angie becomes more and more generic and stereotypical of a spicy Latin hottie and with each line of dialogue, I found myself more and more compelled to leave the theater. I don’t know why Bell insists on taking bad roles in crummy movies. By all accounts he’s a talented guy and yet he keeps popping up in films like The Eagle, Jumper, and this jumbled mess. Maybe he just needs better representation. Regardless, his uninspiring chemistry with Rodriguez is at best awkward and he displays an uncanny ability for having no comedic timing whatsoever. Moreover, each “twist” and “turn” within the movie’s plot is as cliché as the one before, as Man on a Ledge falls into every action movie trap that you can imagine. 20 minutes into the film I could have written down everything that would happen throughout the rest of the runtime and I would have been spot on about 85 percent of the time. Even worse, none of the cliché plot devices are executed with any sort of precision. It’s as if, when writing the film, Pablo F. Fenjves got stuck and said, “Oh, I saw this in a movie one time, let’s do that” and then repeated this pattern multiple times. It is a boring, “going through the motions” narrative that never manages to get its wheels moving properly.
At an unspecified time in the future, humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25. Everyone has a bright green counter imbedded on their forearms which show how much time they have left to live. As a byproduct of this new system, time becomes currency; the rich have decades, even centuries to live, while the poor are lucky to have more than 24 hours on their arms at any one time. Will Salas (Justin Timberlake) works at a factory and never has more time than hours in the day until a chance encounter with Henry Hamilton (Matt Bomer), a rich man whose life he saves from a vicious gangster (Alex Pettyfer). Hamilton, though, doesn’t want to go on any longer and while Will sleeps, he transfers over his 116+ years of time. Before he can celebrate with his mother (Olivia Wilde), she runs out of time and dies, prompting Will to make it his mission in life to bring down the system. After being tracked to a mansion by Timekeeper Raymond Leon (Cillian Murphy), Will makes a hostage of his host’s daughter, Sylvia Weis (Amanda Seyfried), and sets out on the run. The pair soon becomes a futuristic version of Bonnie and Clyde as they attempt to stay one step ahead and right the wrongs their society has imposed on the poor.
Concept films almost never pan out, the reason being that ideas are easy to come up with; putting those ideas into motion is a different story. Make no mistake, writer/director Andrew Niccol has a great concept to work with. But as is often the case with sci-fi films, the concept at the heart of In Time is approximately one hundred billion times better than the film itself. This movie could succeed as a sci-fi book or short story but the way in which it is executed on screen makes for an excruciatingly bad experience.
In Time misses the mark on virtually every front. To start, it is rife with poor acting. No, that’s not enough. In truth, most of the performances within this movie are downright terrible. Niccol assembled a cast of attractive individuals who unfortunately have yet to figure out their way as actors, aside from Murphy, who looks like a man who knows he’s boarded a sinking ship. Timberlake, Seyfried, and Wilde may end up being worthwhile performers at some point but at this stage of their respective careers, they need real guidance and good material, neither of which is provided by Niccol. (It should be noted that I did not include Pettyfer in that list because while the others show at least some promise, Pettyfer does not. He is genuinely talentless.) In the end, though, the numerous sleepwalking portrayals and elementary-level dialogue don’t come close to measuring up to the train wreck that is this movie’s plot.
To list the holes within the plot would be to craft a short novel. Absolutely nothing about In Time works the way it is supposed to. The film simply doesn’t make a bit of sense on any level whatsoever. I’d love to know how it got green lit in the first place or how it made it past the test screening phase. It seems that no one anywhere in the chain of command ever asked some rudimentary questions about why this or that happens. Add to these crater-sized holes a staggering number of side plots that serve no purpose and receive no payoff. The most interesting character within the entire mess of a film is Timekeeper Leon and yet his development never enters into the equation.
Really what I’m saying in this review boils down to this: In Time is stupid. (I almost just wrote that sentence as my review but I felt that wouldn’t be received too well.) It is riddled with head-scratching plot holes, anemic dialogue, and cringe-inducing acting and worst of all it is a waste of an interesting and potentially dynamic concept which, as a sci-fi nerd, makes me furious. Stupid. It’s just stupid.
In 1972, the crew of Apollo 17 made the last manned moon landing. Shortly after their return to earth, NASA cancelled the flights of Apollo 18, 19, and 20, respectively, and instead turned focus towards the creation of the space shuttle. At least, that’s what the government wants you to think. (Cue the ominous “conspiracy” music.)The found footage within Apollo 18 would have you believe that the Apollo 17 mission was just the tip of the iceberg. With John (Ryan Robbins) orbiting above the moon, Nate (Lloyd Owen) and Ben (Warren Christie) descend upon the surface for a secret mission, carrying a payload provided by the Department of Defense. Their two day mission takes a strange turn, however, when they find a Soviet landing craft and the body of a cosmonaut not far from their own landing spot. Soon weird things begin to happen and before long the two astronauts find themselves under attack from a mysterious presence that always seems to evade eyesight. When Nate is injured and begins to show signs of infection, it is left to Ben to try to get the pair back to their orbiting shuttle before it’s too late.
The found footage genre, which has become far too prominent in recent years, presents a challenge for me. As a concept, I think it’s rather intriguing. There are things that you can do with a found footage narrative that you can’t do with the standard storytelling and when done right, it can create an atmosphere that feels more realistic than it would be otherwise. I think it’s that presencethat brings me back to found footage flicks. The problem is it’s almost never done right. In the same way that 3D has been bastardized by bad filmmakers with bad films that use the technology for evil rather than good, found footage is mostly used as a crutch for lazy, uninspired storytelling. It is used, essentially, as a gimmick more often than not rather than a tool for crafting a quality film.
Apollo 18 is the personification of that last paragraph. As a concept, it is thoroughly intriguing to me. It asks the question, “Why haven’t we been back to the moon?” and pretty soon I found myself wondering the same thing. I’m anything but a conspiracy theorist but still, the base of the film worked for me. I also think the decision to have almost the entire film take place with only two characters was a brave choice even if it didn’t come together seamlessly. But beyond the concept, Apollo 18 falls flat on its face, a perfect illustration of what bothers me most about this genre. Director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego attempts to build suspense, even terror, throughout but he never manages to pull it off. Very little happens throughout the film’s runtime and what does happen is completely swallowed up by the boredom that the slow pace inspires. And instead of trying to do anything unique or fresh, instead Apollo 18 represents a check list of generic gags and gimmicks that plague the average found footage film.
On top of all this, Apollo 18 isn’t frightening in the least. I tire of film critics attacking suspense films and thrillers for not effectively scaring them out of their seats. But a film billed as a sci-fi horror flick needs to pack at least a bit of a punch and this film is decidedly punchless. Weak dialogue and plot holes can be overlooked (see: The Blair Witch Project) if your film is bringing legitimate scares but every time Apollo 18 tries to ramp up the scare factor, I found myself yawning and wondering how much more I had to sit through. It is lazy, half-hearted filmmaking that could have done much more with the concept it had to work with.
Gil (Owen Wilson) and his fiancée Inez (Rachel McAdams) aren’t a particularly good match. Gil is a successful screenwriter who would prefer to be a struggling novelist while Inez is an upper-class snob who prefers Beverly Hills’ brand of culture to that of the Old World. During their vacation to Paris, Gil and Inez spend their days touring with Paul (Michael Sheen) and Carol (Nina Arianda), Inez’s insufferable friends, and their nights dining with Inez’s parents. As Gil becomes more infatuated with Paris and less happy with Inez, he begins to take midnight walks around the city to clear his head. On one of these walks he is beckoned by the occupants of an antique car to join their party, an invitation which he graciously accepts. When he arrives at the party, however, he realizes that he has journeyed back in time to the Roaring ‘20s and comes in contact with celebrities of the past such as F. Scott Fitzgerald (Tom Hiddleston) and Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll). Each night he journeys back to the past and upon his return to the present each morning, he finds his transition more and more difficult and leading to the inevitable confrontation between Inez and himself.
I’ve never been a big fan of Woody Allen or his films. It’s not that I don’t think he makes quality films; it’s that I’ve never really enjoyed his particular sense of humor. Maybe more to the point, I’m 28 years old which means very, VERY, few of the films Allen has made in my lifetime have mattered whatsoever and those that do matter haven’t resonated with me. In fact, Midnight in Paris is probably the first Allen movie made in my lifetime that actually made an impression on me. I’m not quite so willing to jump on the bandwagon so aggressively as to add this film to my personal top ten list, but it’s a tremendous improvement on most of Woody’s recent works.
There are three types of characters in the standard Woody Allen romance:
1. The Woody character - Woody inserts himself in basically every one of his films whether he plays the protagonist himself or farms the role out to another actor;
2. The Muse - There’s always someone or something that inspires, confuses, or otherwise entices the Woody character;
3. Everyone else - Everyone other character in a Woody Allen film is generally some form of jerk who doesn’t understand the Woody character.
Midnight in Paris is no stranger to this formula. One of the reasons this film works so well is the brilliant performance of Owen Wilson. Gil is, of course, Woody’s representation of himself within this film and Wilson plays perhaps the best Woody Allen yet (besides the man himself). Wilson exemplifies the neurosis and idiosyncrasies needed for the Allen character with flair and he delivers the requisite banter exquisitely. The Muse, in this case, is not a person but rather the collective that makes up Paris in the ‘20s. Gil falls head over heels for the glamour and the nightlife, the writers and the musicians, the dancing and the garb. He is inspired by a generation that he feels is significantly better than the one in which he was born. Everyone else is, well, everyone in Gil’s real life. Inez, her parents, and her friends are all, quite simply, horrible, boring, and obnoxious people. This is always the part of the Woody Allen Equation that bothers me, as I’d prefer it if at least one character outside of Woody and the Muse could act like a real human. In this case, however, I think Allen does a great job of playing down the stupidity of “everyone else” while focusing more on the glory of the muse and the life Gil so desperately desires. I found myself rooting for him in a way I can’t always manage in a Woody Allen film. It is a stunningly shot, richly structured film that presents a thrilling, beautiful portrait of Paris in what is undoubtedly Allen’s best film in 25 years.
There’s never been any question that Liam Neeson is not a man to be trifled with. Whether he was freeing Jews in Schindler’s List, avenging the defilement of his wife in Rob Roy, or giving the only worthwhile performance in Phantom Menace, Neeson has always been a charismatic and thoroughly believable leading man with an edge. 2009’s Taken took that to a whole new level, though, and simultaneously changed the culture (and relative importance) of the ridiculous action film and Neeson’s overall impression. When the trailer for The Grey started making the rounds, my friends and I had a grand time comparing it to Taken and joking about how nature didn’t stand a chance against a Liam Neeson throat chop. (In fact, I should probably just put together a timeline of the text messages we exchanged and let that stand as my review.) I very much enjoy the ridiculous notion that Neeson is engaging in some sort of gladiator-like event in which Hollywood sends their most blood-thirsty champions to battle him and he unceremoniously dispatches them: Serbians (Taken)? No problem. German spies (Unknown)? No problem. A tank falling like an anvil from the sky (The A-Team)? No problem. Finally, in a last ditch effort to save face, Hollywood called upon CGI wolves with a taste for human flesh. How could Neeson possibly stave off such an onslaught?
John Ottway (Neeson) is at the end of his rapidly fraying rope. Left alone by his wife and with very few marketable skills, he winds up in the Alaskan wilderness, hired to shoot wolves that threaten the safety of the roughneck employees working on a pipeline. He has nothing to live for and is on the verge of suicide. But on his way home to Anchorage, his plane crashes and he finds himself as one of seven survivors in the middle of a winter wasteland. Ottway springs into action, gathering up the survivors and formulating a plan to hike out to safety. But before his plans can come to fruition, the small group is beset upon by a pack of hungry and blood thirsty wolves who furiously pick off the survivors one by one. With the wolves at his heels, the blistering cold in his face, and no definite sense of where he is, Ottway finds his desire for death put to the test.
The success of Taken has created a two-sided phenomenon in my mind. On the one hand, at nearly 60 years old, Neeson’s career has hit a new stride that very few actors are able to achieve wherein millions of younger viewers will see whatever movie he is in, at least in large part, because he is in it. That’s where I’m at, anyway. I know if I’m going into a Neeson film, I’m going to have a darn good time and I’m going to be impressed with what a boss the man is. On the other hand, however, it’s difficult to go into a Neeson action movie and not expect Taken Part 2. In my mind, Unknown was Taken: Germany, The A-Teamwas Taken with Friends, and Battleship will be Taken: Alien Invasion (all of this leading up to, of course, Taken 2 which comes out later this year). That feeling makes it difficult to transition to a different concept if a given film aspires to be something other than an unofficial Taken sequel.
And that’s where I’m at with The Grey.
When you’re expecting Liam Neeson to be himself (a grade-A boss) and just kickpunch the crap out of every wolf who happens to cross his path, it comes as quite a shock when it turns out that the wolves are actually far more up to the task of killing Neeson than any group of Serbians ever were. There is a lot more at play than meets the eye with The Grey and that serves as both a pleasant surprise and a bit of a letdown. I was not prepared for the deep, philosophical undercurrent that runs through every aspect of this film. As I adjusted, I found that for the first two-thirds at least, the two sides of the film (the awesome, butt-kicking side and the deeper, serious side) complemented each other quite well. And for a while director Joe Carnahan had his cake and ate it, too: his in-depth exploration into the darker elements of the human soul went hand-in-hand with Neeson’s general awesomeness, including his utterance of one of the five greatest tough-guy quotes I can ever remember (seriously, this movie is worth seeing just to hear him threaten one of his fellow survivors with one of the most blunt, harsh, and menacing statements I’ve ever heard).
But I confess the conclusion of The Grey has me perplexed. Without spoiling anything for anyone, it’s fair to say that there essentially isn’t a conclusion. It closes on a note that is about as ambiguous as you’ll ever experience, perhaps one step short of the masterful/infuriating (depending on your opinion) close to No Country For Old Men. Just when you think the film is going to ramp up into a fresh round of throat chops and jump kicks, the screen goes black and the closing credits roll. And if I’m being totally honest, I still don’t know how I feel about this. I admire Carnahan’s willingness to take a risk and there’s no questioning the quality of the filmmaking involved here. But it takes a special film to properly execute the non-ending-ending and I’m not sure that The Grey qualifies. The conclusion flips the course of the film on its head and makes you reconsider its overall focus and while that could be considered a stroke of genius, it didn’t completely work for me. All said, The Grey is a complex, worthwhile film but not one that I’m ready to anoint as a “great” action flick. I guess I’ll have to hold onto that title until Taken 2 rolls around.
I know that I’m quite prone to hyperbole. When describing a movie I’ve used the terms “best”, “worst”, and “favorite” more than any man should. I’ve tried to curb that desire over the last couple of years and I now think long and hard before I jump off the hyperbolic ledge. So when I say that Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is the most frustrating movie I have EVER seen, please know that I do so after a serious amount of consideration.
Oskar Schell (Thomas Horn) is a troubled boy, stricken with a set of social disorders (never defined in the film but readily apparent) that only get worse when he experiences “the worst day ever.” His father, Thomas (Tom Hanks), was in the World Trade Center on 9/11 and died in the building’s collapse. The loss leaves Oskar struggling to make sense of his life while his mother, Linda (Sandra Bullock), drifts further and further away into depression. A year after the tragedy, while snooping around in his father’s possessions, Oskar discovers a mysterious key labeled, “Black.” Feeling that his connection to his father is slipping away, Oskar postulates that the key must be a part of one of the numerous adventures his father sent him on. With the help of a mysterious mute (Max Von Sydow) who rents a room from his grandmother, Oskar begins a cross-city search for the owner of the key who he believes will be able to tell him something about his father.
The story contained within EL&IC is truly spectacular. It is equal parts beauty and heartbreak, a haunting and yet triumphant narrative that should draw a natural connection from its audience. Obviously the 9/11 overtones make up a portion of the emotion within the film but the real value is found in Oskar’s struggle to remain in touch with his father and as a byproduct the distance from his mother. Make no mistake, at times this story is gut-wrenchingly painful and difficult to endure but at the core of the sorrow there remains hope, a combination that elicited quite a response from me. When describing the narrative to a friend I got choked up and nearly broke down, an action that isn’t typical for me (I’m a movie crier, sure, but I’m usually done with it after the movie is over). I realized how deeply the story had affected me after the fact, so to speak, and that’s what makes this such a frustrating movie: while the narrative is fantastic, virtually everything else about this movie is a bloody mess.
Okay, to be fair, the acting of the supporting players isn’t a mess. Hanks is charming as always in his limited screen time and as the film goes on, Bullock’s character displays more depth than originally expected. Von Sydow, too, makes every second of his wordless appearance count, a performance worthy of his Oscar nomination. All of them, however, are overshadowed by Oskar and I don’t mean that in a good way. Oskar is, quite simply, a beating for the majority of the film. The fault does not belong with Horn, a young actor who does an excellent job with what he was given to work with. The problem is that director Stephen Daldry makes Oskar excruciatingly annoying in order to illustrate his various ticks and issues. At times you want to ignore all the stuff this kid has been through and just tell him to shut up. Actually, it’s not “at times”; it’s almost all the time. Oskar grated on my nerves and Daldry’s insistence on playing up his idiosyncrasies essentially strips this film of its rightful impact. Add in a HORRIBLE, painful voiceover that never seems to stop, a distracting and obnoxious score, and a few truly bizarre production choices (a man falling from the WTC building in disturbing detail, for example) and what you’ve got is a sloppy, haphazard mess of a film that undercuts the power of the narrative.
Numerous times over the last few years I’ve said that a given film contains 20 minutes of a good film that can’t quite escape the trappings of mediocrity (or something to that effect). EL&IC is different: it is 20 minutes of a GREAT film, an ICONIC film, that is maddeningly handicapped by incessant and infuriatingly poor choices from Daldry and his writing team. It is a frustrating and infuriating cinematic experience that perfectly illustrates the term, “what could have been.”
After his last job goes badly, Danny (Jason Statham), a world renowned hitman, leaves the game and moves into isolation in Australia. His mentor, Hunter (Robert De Niro), keeps taking jobs and before long he gets himself into trouble with a Middle Eastern sheik. In order to win Hunter's freedom, Danny must take on that inevitable "one last job", a contract that will require him to kill three former SAS agents who were connected to the deaths of the sheik's sons during a military operation. Danny assembles a team and sets out to fulfill the contract, an easy any task for a man of his skills. He draws the attention, however, of Spike (Clive Owen), another former SAS agent and a member of a secret society known as The Feathermen, who takes it upon himself to prevent the hits from taking place and to bring Danny in for interrogation.
I didn't expect much from Killer Elite, a sentiment I attempt to take in with me whenever watching a Jason Statham movie. I assumed the plot would be thin and the dialogue would be to the level of a third grader and I was willing to accept that as long as the movie delivered quality action sequences and a general good time. In essence, I did my part by bringing a low standard and a good attitude to the table. Unfortunately, Killer Elite failed to carry its share of the load. This movie is so bad that I almost didn't write a review because I'd already wasted two hours of my life by watching it and didn't want to give up another hour or so to writing about it. I'm sad that I didn't see it earlier so that I could include it in my "Worst Movies of the Year" list because it DEFINITELY should own a place in the bottom five. Simply put, there is absolutely nothing to like about this film. Nothing.
Killer Elite manages to squeeze every action movie cliche you can think of into its plot. You've got the "one last job" element at play. You've got the mentor-mentee-bad-guy relationship thing happening. You've got the villain who's really not a bad guy and he shows it by shooting people in the knees (crippling them for life) instead of killing them. And the list goes on. It's embarrassing how unoriginal and completely uninspired Killer Elite really is. With a cast as talented as this one is, the least director Gary McKendry and writer Matt Sherring could do would be to create a plot and an atmosphere in which the actors could thrive. Clearly no one in the cast cared about making this movie. I've sadly come to expect that from De Niro in these settings (that's one of the most depressing statements I've ever made in this space) but even Statham seems completely disinterested, like a man who knows he's working on a doomed project. This is a guy who goes all out in Crank, a wretched film that only made it to theaters because Statham rocks it so hard; how bad does the on-set vibe have to be for that guy to not care?
None of this would make Killer Elite a "Worst Movie of the Year" candidate (probably) without the following issues:
1.) The plot is so overly complex that it's next to impossible to follow from a logical standpoint. By that I don't mean that it's "smart" or "over my head." I mean that it's a jumbled, convoluted mess that was structured poorly in the first place and probably edited poorly in re-writes. This is a bad, extremely thin plot that doesn't make a bloody bit of sense and in order to cover those holes, the writer(s) adds in a whole bunch of junk to make it look more complex than it really is. There areapproximately 100,000 worthless plot twists and turns in this movie and I'm probably under valuing that number.
2.) More egregious in my book, pretty much every character in this film makes idiotic decision after idiotic decision and these decisions are the only way that the plot can keep moving. This is perhaps my least favorite movie trick ever; it's the main reason I hate horror movies. If your plot depends on your characters making decisions that no human with the IQ of a three-toed sloth would make, then it's a bad plot and you should stop making your movie. In Killer Elite, every character operates under the three-toed sloth line. Keep in mind, these are all highly trained, intelligent covert agents who have only lived as long as they have because they were, presumably, good at making decisions and keeping themselves alive. But that doesn't stop them from running off into the path of a large truck or not searching a known enemy for weapons. I'm pretty sure even my wife knows that if your adversary is strangling your colleague and they're close enough to touch noses, you probably shouldn't shoot said adversary in the back of the head with a high-caliber pistol because, gosh wouldn't you know it, the bullet is likely to go through and kill your friend, too. Unfortunately for one of the characters in this movie, another highly-trained, super-awesome special agent did not know this scientific fact.
Basically what I'm saying, dear reader(s), is that you absolutely should not see Killer Elite. I know it looks like it could be fun, I know it looks like the perfect, "It's Midnight and I've Already Watched Sportscenter and this Just Came on HBO" movie. But trust me, it isn't. Save yourself and stay away.
When the grunge rock movement began in Seattle in the early ‘90s, filmmaker Cameron Crowe was living in the area and spent a good deal of time covering the music scene. At the forefront of the movement, which spread like wildfire across the globe, there were two bands: Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Yes, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and a number of other bands made significant marks but it was the aforementioned duo that made grunge the all-encompassing phenomenon that it was. If you’ve ever seen a Crowe film, you know he has a connection with Pearl Jam; I’m pretty sure at least one PJ song can be found in each of his films, including We Bought a Zoo, an addition that made no sense but was nonetheless awesome. Pearl Jam 20 serves as Crowe’s ode to his favorite band as he traces their origins back to the pre-Eddie Vedder days and follows them up through their most recent album, interspersing concert footage with intimate interviews and some home videos to create a portrait of what could be America’s last great rock band.
Much like Crowe himself, I am borderline obsessed with the grunge era. I think Nirvana saved music and you can’t convince me otherwise. Pearl Jam is probably my favorite band going right now and so for me, PJ20 was an outstanding way to spend two hours. This isn’t exactly the in-depth, investigative sort of documentary that many critics were hoping for. Rather, it’s almost a love letter to the band and the music of the era from a fan to the fans. And personally, I’m okay with that. It was thrilling to catch a glimpse of the inner workings of the band and the history of how they came together. I’ve read some of this information before but it’s different to actually watch the band talk about themselves and about their music. The grunge era is such a fascinating, exciting subject and Crowe’s ability to weave together the various elements he uses to tell Pearl Jam’s story is incredible.
The early days of the band are of particular interest as Crowe examines the way in which the members of the group came together and the work that led to their breakout album, Ten. Through the various interviews and video clips, you are able to get a real feel for the brotherhood not just among the members of Pearl Jam but also among all members of the Seattle music scene, regardless of band affiliation. In one clip, Chris Cornell (Soundgarden) stated that his musician friends from New York couldn’t believe how supportive each band was of the next; New York bands viewed themselves as competitors while the grunge acts saw themselves as parts of a whole. In many ways, that feeling of togetherness is representative of a movement that was embraced by millions of (young) people from different walks of life who felt disenfranchised by society in general, let alone the crap that dominated the airwaves at the time.
One of the more intriguing parts of the film is the way in which it displays the changes in the both the personalities of the band members and the music they put together. As PJ20progresses, you witness the evolution of both band and individual. Front man Eddie Vedder is almost out of control in early footage, both on and off stage. There’s a sense of frustration, almost rage, that pours through in every song. Later concert footage and interviews show a much more controlled and mature man who has traded anger for political and social angst but one who still knows how to put on an incredible show and make fantastic music. It was engrossing for me to watch the changes take place over the course of 20 years and brought a new appreciation for some of the band’s music that I haven’t always been as impressed with.
If nothing else (and perhaps above all else), PJ20 offers up an enthralling anthology of Pearl Jam on stage. The concert footage is exquisitely cut and distributed throughout the runtime so that it never becomes a true concert film but also never allows the viewer to forget that these guys represent a powerhouse on the stage. The mix of early footage with more recent shots (including an IMPECCABLE performance of Release from a few years ago) provides a powerful sampling of the truly special body of work Pearl Jam has put together over the years. I would have loved for Crowe to delve deeper into the middle years of the band in which there was an apparent, if unspoken, conflict between the band members or give more insight into the origins of some of Pearl Jam’s more popular songs. But as it stands, PJ20 provides a beautiful and heartfelt look at one of the world’s most prolific rock bands.
After 20 years of lugging gear and setting up equipment for the Blue Oyster Cult, Jimmy (Ron Eldard) is unceremoniously fired and abandoned by the band members he considered to be friends. With no identity outside of his status as a roadie and no life plans, Jimmy ends up heading back home for the first time in a decade. After crashing in his old bedroom, Jimmy comes into contact with Randy (Bobby Cannavale), his high-school nemesis who happens to be married to Nikki (Jill Hennessey), an old flame he never really got over. With nothing to show for his time away from home, Jimmy begins making up stories and eventually draws Randy's ire, creating an uncomfortable situation that further messes with Jimmy's already fragile mental state.
Roadie is like a conflict between two mountain goats (I know that "bighorn sheep" would be a more scientifically correct title but "mountain goat" just sounds better): one goat represents the acting in this film, chiefly that of Eldard, and the other represents the storyline and general exposition of said storyline. The Acting Goat is an outstanding specimen. Eldard is one of my very favorite character actors, a guy who always draws my attention no matter how big or small his role in a given movie may be. (This makes him a member of the "Barry Pepper All-Stars", a list of actors I really need to write a piece about one of these days.) This is a rare leading role for Eldard and he shines brilliantly. Jimmy is easy to root for despite not really showing many qualities that usually make one likeable and that is due to Eldard's ability to convey a measure of truthfulness, or perhaps relevance, to his character. The lack of purpose and the search for meaning in his life work make Jimmy an appealing protagonist in this sort of slow-paced, character-driven drama. There is also an edge of genuine desperation to Jimmy and through this trait Eldard gives real weight to a character which otherwise might have been pointless. The supporting players around Eldard are all solid as well, though none quite measure up to the work of the leading man.
The Story Goat, however, is an equally impressive beast but one that works for evil instead of good. Simply put, the events of Roadie are about as bland as you can get. It isn't what I would call "boring" necessarily and yet nothing much happens. Jimmy comes into town, Jimmy pals around with some old friends, and then Jimmy threatens to leave town once more. That's about it. The settings that Roadie inhabits are uninteresting and the dialogue within is unimpressive. As a result, the story undermines Eldard's work and leaves him virtually trapped in a dull and somewhat meaningless world that serves as a stark contrast to the appealing lead character. In the end, neither the Acting Goat nor the Story Goat really win; instead, the two tire out and settle in for a nice nap, a genuine shame considering all that this film had going for it.
Two quick primers on the list you're about to read/flip through absentmindedly:
1.) Last year I started breaking this list into two parts: January through June and July through December. That allows me to highlight ten more films, of course, but it also gives me more time to have a feel for what in the world I can expect from the year's later releases.
2.) This is FAR from a science. I pride myself on my ability to pick out bad movies and avoid them but my foresight has limits. I'm lucky if I've even seen a teaser trailer for anything scheduled for release later than mid-February, let alone the titles you'll see below that debut in the summer. This is a crapshoot. I looked back at last year's Part I and was embarrassed to see a couple of truly awful films made the list. But hey, that's how things go sometimes and I'm more than willing to stick my neck out one more time.
I firmly believe 2012 will be a great year for film but it is extremely bottom heavy. That is to say, most of its value will be found in the back half of the year while the front half is somewhat lackluster. So please bear that in mind as we delve into my Top 10 Anticipated Movies of 2012 (Part I).
Honorable Mention: Jeff Who Lives at Home - Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Judy Greer The only reason this film, about a thirtysomething who still lives in his mother's basement, didn't make the list is that it will receive a limited release (the bane of my moviegoing existence). That means I probably won't end up seeing it until it hits DVD shelves and if I'm not going to see it in theaters, then I don't feel good about giving it a spot here. That's too bad because I think this is going to be stinking funny.
10. Men in Black 3 - Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin I'm well aware that the trailer for MIB 3 is, shall we say, less than promising. I admit I'm nervous, especially taking into consideration the whole time-travel thing which is usually a bad sign. But here's the thing: I love Will Smith. Always have, always will. I wish the guy would take on more challenging roles from time to time (Django Unchained would have been PERFECT) but I almost always enjoy his movies and often times, I enjoy them quite a bit. Smith hasn't been in a movie in 3 years and as a result I've been looking forward to this one for a long time. I'll take my chances with a haphazard plot. Also, the idea of Josh Brolin playing Tommy Lee Jones sounds uber-appealing.
9. Dr. Suess' The Lorax - Zac Efron, Danny DeVito, Ed Helms It is always smart to be at least somewhat suspicious of any animated film that isn't related to Pixar and Dr. Suess books haven't translated well the screen overall. But the visuals on The Lorax looks fantastic, this is one of my very favorite Suess books, and the studio busted out a Polyphonic Spree song for the trailer which is ALWAYS a smart move. So consider my interest piqued.
8. Chronicle - Michael B. Jordan, Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell There will always be a spot for a low-budget sci-fi film on my list. Deal with it. This one, about three friends who are mysteriously given super powers, looks extra appealing even if it will, undoubtedly, touch on teenage angst a little more than I'd like. Looks like we'll be treated to solid special effects and what could be a compelling, if unoriginal, storyline. I'm also on the lookout for a quality performance from Jordan (of Parenthood and Friday Night Lights fame) who has the chops to be a hot name in Hollywood over the next couple of years.
7. M.S. One: Maximum Security - Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Peter Stormare If you enjoyed Taken and are excited about Taken 2 (which will open later this year), then you will certainly appreciate MS One which is basically Taken 1.5. It centers on a falsely-convicted criminal who is given his freedom in exchange for rescuing the president's daughter from a prison colony on the moon and it is produced by Luc Besson. I can't tell you, dear readers, that this will be a "good" movie but I can tell you it will be a "ridiculously fun" movie that I will be in attendance for on opening weekend. I honestly can't wait. Also, I think it's high time that the world recognizes how boss Pearce really is and maybe his subbing in for Liam Neeson will make that happen.
6. The Five-Year Engagement - Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, A Whole Lot of Really Funny People This R-rated comedy (title should be explanatory as far as the plot goes) reunites director Nicholas Stoller and Jason Segel who previously collaborrated on both The Muppets and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Stoller's other work, Get Him to the Greek, is one that grows on me every time I run across it on cable. These are just genuinely funny guys. Add in the Bridesmaids feel and the RIDICULOUS supporting cast (Chris Pratt, Mindy Kaling, and Chris Parnell to name a few) and you've got a potential smash hit.
5. Moonrise Kingdom - Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand, Bill Murray One of my simple rules for picking good movies is this: if Wes Anderson directed it, it's good. Like I said, simple. Anderson's unique style is irresistible for me and I don't think the guy has ever made a bad movie. His last venture, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, MIGHT be his best (heresy, I know). Moonrise, about two pre-teens who run away together, sounded appealing enough sight unseen. Then the first trailer hit last week and I'm now completely on board. What a great cast! Really, really excited for this one.
4. Prometheus - Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Noomi Rapace Ridley Scott's "it's not an Alien prequel but yeah, it's an Alien prequel" sci-fi extravaganza will have been garnering serious Internet attention for the better part of two years by the time it actually opens in theaters. With an incredible cast and an established fan base, I think we can bet on Prometheus bringing in a haul at the box office this summer. And that's good because, in all honesty, Scott could really use a hit. Since Gladiator brought him a Best Picture Oscar, he's been at the helm for Hannibal (awful), Black Hawk Down (critical success but not a huge winner at the box office), Matchstick Men (good, not great), Kingdom of Heaven (I love this movie, most people do not), A Good Year (beating), American Gangster (not the success it aspired to be), Body of Lies (bombed), and Robin Hood (one of the most disappointing movies of 2010). "Needs" a hit would be strong terminology but his return to space could provide a major boost.
3. The Avengers - Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo I have conflicting feelings about this one. The nerd in me is absolutely freaking out about seeing this many superheroes together at one time. (Add in the fact that Nerd King Joss Whedon is at the helm and it becomes almost too much to handle.) At the same time, however, I haven't been quite as enamored by the trailers as my fellow nerds have. I don't think there's any way this movie will be bad; I'm just nervous that it isn't going to be the world beater it needs to be in order to justify the unique way Marvel has built its programming toward this release. The task of blending all of these actors together is another hurdle in my mind. This isn't the same as the standard ensemble film. It's one thing to take a back seat to another actor when you're a part of a big cast working for a great director; it's another entirely to do so while also playing a character for which you are famous. Obviously I'm STOKED to see this movie but I've got a bit of anxiety regarding whether or not the idea of this movie is better than the movie itself.
2. The Hunger Games - Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson Three things about my experience with this franchise: 1.) I love the first book in the Hunger Games series (on which this movie is based); 2.) I think the two that follow are shoddily put together and repetitive; 3.) I have NO IDEA how well the book will translate to the screen. While reading I kept wondering how in the world Gary Ross would be able to maintain the book's harsh reality and keep it PG-13. I'm still not sure if it's possible. The trailer for The Hunger Games, though, is outstanding. I love the look of the film and I am thoroughly excited to see Lawrence take on a role I believe she will excel in. And lest we forget, American Treasure Woody Harrelson is going to be GREAT in this movie. Expect this movie to make a RIDICULOUS sum of money this Spring.
1. Brave - Kelly Mcdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Kevin McKidd I debated what order this top three should end up in and settled on Brave at number one for two reasons: 1.) Pixar is the best film studio. Ever. 2.) Coming off of Cars 2, the studio's only miss in its 16 year history, I think Pixar is going to bring the thunder even more than usual. That is to say, I expect they've gone even further above and beyond to ensure that Brave is incredible. This will be Pixar's first film that centers on a female character. I'm genuinely excited to see what they can do with that concept in mind and while the trailer doesn't give away much as to the plot, I think it looks amazing. Plus, can we all agree that it's just cool when a movie is based in Scotland? I mean, who doesn't love it when we have an excuse for Billy Connolly to show up? By the end of June, I imagine no one will even remember that Cars 2 was a thing.
When I posted my Weekend Movie Guide last week, I wrote that Contraband had three things going for it: Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, and a general look of “fun.” I figured the combination of a quality leading action actor, an exceptionally attractive lead actress, and a heist-related, energetic plot would make Contraband a “decent enough” flick. In the end, I guess I can say I was right about Wahlberg. The rest? Not so much.
At one time, Chris Farraday (Wahlberg) was a well-known second generation smuggler who made a hefty living bringing just about anything (except for drugs) into the country through the port of New Orleans. Farraday got out of the game, however, in order to become a family man and he pulled his best friend and former partner, Sebastian (Ben Foster), out with him. But when Chris’ brother-in-law, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), gets tangled up with Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), a vicious drug dealer, Chris finds himself taking on a major job in order to clear Andy of his debt and keep his family safe. Unfortunately for Chris, things don’t go quite according to plans.
Contraband is a remake of an Icelandic film that actually starred director Baltasar Kormakur. Kormakur has made a name for himself overseas but that potential has yet to manifest itself on these shores. This film is no exception as there are several moments that stand out as respectable action movie sequences which are lost in a sea of bad plot points and slow pacing. Too often Contraband attempts to make itself a “thinking man’s action movie” when it really lacks the narrative or script to be anything more than a throw away popcorn action romp. I think Contrabandwants to be an unofficial sequel to The Italian Job when it would be better off as an over-the-top action flick. The goal of a film like Taken (the ultimate example of how to make a January action movie) is to have a riotous good time in the form of a movie. No one involved with that movie intended it to be a serious piece of cinematic art and therefore, it was easy to suspend reality and enjoy the ride. That’s what we all want from an early-in-the-year movie like this.
But that’s not the case with Contraband. Instead of being able to revel in the ridiculousness of a middle-aged man single handedly bringing an end to the entire population of Serbia or a group of misfits attempting to “fly” a tank, the audience is asked to pay attention to a litany of plot points that just don’t make any sense. At times this movie actually becomes boring as Farraday and his team try to put his plan into action, a plan which, by the way, would require everyone else in the world to be complete morons in order for it to succeed. Ocean’s 11 this is not. For long stretches of runtime, basically nothing happens, stalling and ultimately killing any momentum the film tries to create for itself. And when things actually do pick up, too many of the twists and turns can be seen from a mile away, making all the buildup seem even more tedious. In addition, the cuts back and forth between Farraday and his team out on their mission and Briggs stalking Farraday’s family back home distracts from the overall direction of the film. I applaud Kormakur’s attempts to make Beckinsale’s character more important than the standard “damsel in distress” that often plagues this sort of movie but it doesn’t work and these jumps in the narrative just serve to make Contraband overly long.
I wouldn’t say this movie is a complete loss. Wahlberg is a favorite of mine and he does an admirable job of providing entertainment here even if he is sleepwalking through his role a bit. And when the action does pick up it is mostly satisfying. I just needed more action, more excitement, and more fun in order to truly enjoy Contraband.
I’d like to believe that everyone agrees in the following sentiment: the fourth Indiana Jones film is terrible. (Well, everyone except George Lucas.) Even Steven Spielberg seems to understand the train wreck he put on screen in 2008, though he won’t come out and say that in order to protect Lucas. That movie stands as one of the worst experiences of my cinematic life, a slap in the face of Phantom Menace proportions. But after having seen The Adventures of Tintin, I feel a little bit better. And I move that we officially strike Kingdom of the Crystal Skull from the record and name Tintin the fourth Indy film. Seconded?
Tintin (voice by Jamie Bell) is a young journalist with a knack for breaking major stories. When he comes across a model of a man-o-war ship known as The Unicorn, he senses a story and begins digging around into the history of the ship and its cargo. Soon he finds himself caught up in the midst of a generations-old battle between two seafaring families, the Haddocks and the Rackhams. After joining forces with Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), the last of his line who keeps an important secret buried beneath years of alcoholism, Tintin and his dog Snowy undertake a globetrotting trek to foil the plans of Sakharine (Daniel Craig), who wants to steal the Haddock birthright.
There aren’t a lot of animated movies that qualify as true adventure flicks but Tintin is one of them. From the dynamic opening credits until the conclusion, the film runs at full sprint, rarely stopping to take a breath. It is the very definition of a thrill ride as Tintin and his pals find themselves in one dangerous situation after another. At times it plays out like a video game, jumping from one level (as it were) to the next but in this case, I think that fits the story well. This is sheer fun and exhilaration and the quick shifts in setting and plot should make it easy for kiddos to follow along while parents dig into the Spielbergian adventure.
The characters within Tintin are strong if somewhat limited. Tintin himself is kind of a baby-faced Jack Bauer, a master of all trades from shooting guns to flying planes who always manages to stay one step ahead of his opponents. Haddock provides outstanding comedic relief and a touch of brute force to back Tintin’s brains. In fact, I think the film takes off when Haddock shows up. His presence provides a second gear to Tintin and his relative buffoonery allows for fun and outlandish plot points that keep the ball rolling. All of this begs the question: has any actor ever had a better year without actually appearing in person on camera than Andy Serkis has this year? He’s THE reason why Rise of the Planet of the Apes worked and he is easily the best part of this film in my book. If Tintin doesn’t quite measure up to Indy, Haddock is a better Sallah than John Rhys Davies ever was (heretical statement, I know). And while Sakharine isn’t exactly a pre-war Nazi, his power grows throughout the movie and he becomes a suitable villain.
The only real complaint I might voice about Tintin is the paper-thin plot. While the video game-like feel works overall, there are times when I might have preferred some exposition. There are a few interconnecting storylines that serve to advance the narrative and that’s good because there isn’t a whole lot of time devoted to character or plot development. Even still, at times it comes across as if the plot was picked out of a list of creative writing prompts, though the way Spielberg dives into said prompt is often deliciously entertaining. In addition, Tintin is to motion capture animation what Avatar was to 3D: it is the exception not the rule, the example of what the technology is capable of delivering in the right hands. Robert Zemeckis bankrupted a company trying to master the art of motion capture but in my mind, he never came close to achieving what Spielberg does here. Tintin is an absolutely gorgeous film that thrives on beautiful landscapes and exquisite details. Tintin may be light one plot but it is heavy on excitement and the visuals serve to deepen the experience, making this one of the more enjoyable films of the year.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a prime example of why you should pay attention to the messages a given movie is trying to send before heading willy-nilly into a theater. This is a film that is based upon a deeply disturbing series of books that spawned a deeply disturbing series of foreign films and which features the tagline, “The feel bad movie of Christmas.” If you read between the lines here, I believe you should be able to make an educated guess as to the kind of movie this really is.
Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) is a journalist whose career appears to be over. After publishing a scathing expose on a powerful Swedish businessman, Blomkvist is sued for libel and is found guilty, a finding that will cost him his life savings, his reputation, and a short prison sentence. At a loss for what to do next, Blomkvist takes a meeting with Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer), an aging but prominent corporate leader. Blomkvist is presented with a proposition that turns out to be more tempting that he could have ever imagined. Vanger promises to give Blomkvist the evidence he needs to clear his name and in exchange, Blomkvist will attempt to solve a mystery that has vexed the old man for 40 years: the murder of Harriet, Vanger’s niece and favorite family member who went missing at the age of 16. With the help of Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara), a socially stunted but immensely valuable private investigator, Blomkvist soon finds himself embroiled in a vast and complex cover up that threatens to consume every aspect of his life.
To describe Dragon Tattoo as “rough” would require that you change the definition of the word. More like “exceptionally brutal” and “not at all something you’d want to see with your parents.” I feel sorry for anyone who made the mistake of taking a post-Santa trip to the theater with the family without knowing for sure what they were getting themselves into. I was 14 when Titanic debuted and I had a number of friends who had their Christmas Day movie with the family ruined by the unexpected awkwardness of Kate Winslet’s breast popping up on the screen. Dragon Tattoo is approximately one hundred thousand times worse. Even the opening credits are a bit demented (though visually stunning) and that’s just a sample of the brutality that follows. Dragon Tattoo is about as raw as it gets for a mainstream movie and despite the fact that I had read the book and knew what to expect, it still made me squirm more than once.
If you can get past the cringe factor, Dragon Tattoo is a quality but ultimately flawed film. Director David Fincher put together a fantastic cast filled with actors who fit their roles perfectly. Led by Craig’s usual calm and understated demeanor, the performances within this film are strong to quite strong, though none compare to the work of Rooney. I don’t think this is an Oscar-caliber portrayal but it is certainly one that will move her to the top of the list for a number of high profile roles over the next few years. And as always with a Fincher film, the technical aspects of Dragon Tattoo are exquisite. From the score to the shot selection, this is barely a step down from The Social Network, which was nearly perfect from a behind-the-camera standpoint. Fincher uses every element like it belongs to his directorial Swiss army knife, heightening the intensity here, providing subtle detail there. Fincher is the master of creating imperceptible tension within each audience member, building it until you suddenly realize that you’re sitting on the edge of your seat and your heart is pounding. In this regard, Dragon Tattoo provides the perfect subject matter.
But where the film struggles is in the way Fincher tries to tell a convoluted, web-like story. In the book, author Stieg Larsson weaves together several stories that don’t initially seem to connect in the beginning and he does so in excruciating detail. It is a slowburn of a read but one that I found compelling. In order to present every concept within the book, however, Fincher makes the mistake of jamming almost every ounce of story from the source material into the film. The first third of the movie, then, moves at a rapid pace that doesn’t fit the story, the characters, or even the actors. There’s a hint of Aaron Sorkin in the dialogue but it doesn’t contain the expert craftsmanship that usually accompanies a Sorkin script and it doesn’t fit Craig’s brand of subdued acting. Moreover, Fincher tries to pack an excessive amount of information into the first act and none of it connects very well. As a result, we get a number of short, choppy scenes that don’t flow together and make it quite difficult to settle in. I’m a big fan of Fincher overall but I think Dragon Tattoo displays his limitations, or at least his weaknesses. Far from Fincher’s master work, it is nonetheless an intriguing and worthwhile film that you may not want to take in on a full stomach.
Kung Fu Panda 2 reunites the audience with Po Ping (Jack Black), the tubby and somewhat lazy panda bear who has been named the fabled Dragon Warrior. He still has much to learn, however, and Po’s teacher Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) spends most of his time trying to make Po understand the concept of inner peace. Things take a bad turn when Shen (Gary Oldman), an evil and power hungry peacock who was banished from the country long ago, returns to his former kingdom in the possession of a diabolical weapon. Po and his team are tasked with ending Shen’s reign of terror before he can take over the whole of China but as their battle unfolds, Po is faced with the realization that this is a much more personal fight than he ever could have imagined.
I didn’t see the first Kung Fu Panda until a couple of years after it was released. Looking back, I’m not sure why I chose to stay away because I really enjoyed it. It isn’t up to the level of Pixar, of course, but then again, that is an unfair standard to hold any film up against, let alone a kid’s movie. KFP is pure, unadulterated fun and contains just enough brains to make the storyline run smoothly. This sequel picks up right where the original left off and the two films work together in almost perfect harmony. KFP2 jumps directly into the action and it doesn’t let off the gas very often, exactly what you need to keep the attention of the kiddos while simultaneously preventing adults from finding issues to nitpick at. It’s one of those films that would become tiresome if it was even ten minutes longer but at 91 minutes, there’s nothing to complain about. This is a very lively film and (I would imagine purposefully) a bit reminiscent of the better elements of a Bruce Lee flick, only if Bruce Lee was funny and a bit overweight.
KFP2 has an outstanding collection of talented voice actors, ranging from Angelina Jolie to Seth Rogen to Jackie Chan and director Jennifer Yuh uses them well. I’ve said this before but one of my pet peeves in an animated film is when a character (or characters) is relegated to second fiddle behind the actor providing the voice. I don’t want a constant reminder that “actor X” is the face behind the drawing. I never had that issue here. In the back of my mind, I knew that the praying mantis is actually Seth Rogen but it wasn’t constantly shoved in my face. And then there’s Gary Oldman, of course, who brings a brilliant, villainous tone to the role of Shen. I’ve often said that if you want to make your film better, just add Gary Oldman and you’re done. Shen is a more intimidating baddie than you could reasonably expect from this movie and an improvement over the villain in the first Kung Fu Panda.
The area in which KFP2 sets itself apart from the average kiddie movie is in the sheer beauty of its animation. This is a gorgeous film that mixes sweeping landscapes with exquisitely detailed characters and powerful action sequences. For my money, the Kung Fu Panda franchise is the most visually compelling of the Dreamworks properties and I almost (almost) think it might have been worth seeing in 3D. All told, this is a highly enjoyable and funny movie that should please viewers of all ages. And in a year that is devoid of a strong Pixar entry, I would make the case that this is the best animated film of the year.
When I look back on 2011, I believe it will go down as one of my favorite years for film. Sure, there were an abnormally high number of really bad movies that I would never force myself to see but we were also treated to a ton of really strong, quality works that I will remember for years to come. I also had greater access in 2011 to independent, smaller budget films; in the past, there's a good chance I wouldn't have been able to see Drive, 50/50, or The Descendants until they came to DVD. I can only hope that this trend continues moving forward. In addition, 2011 represents the end to a significant franchise (Harry Potter), the return of Kermit the Frog (duh), and one of the better superhero movies not related to Christopher Nolan (X-Men: First Class). Each year, I compile a full list of every film I have seen from said year and rank them from first to worst. A couple of things about this list: 1.) My rankings are a mix of quality of film and enjoyment. I would never argue that The Muppets is a better film than Tree of Life but when you add "fun" and "extreme likability" into the mix, I prefer the former over the latter. 2.) Grades and rankings change. If you click on the links to my reviews, you may find that the grade is different than it is on this list. Sometimes the longer I am away from having seen a film, the more my perception of it changes. And sometimes I see the film again and my opinion changes. That's the way it goes. If you're looking at this list at some point in the future it is probably significantly different than it was at the date of publication. 3.) I have missed out on a couple of "important" films to this point, including Midnight in Paris and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, so there's an outside chance my top 10 will change before it's all said and done. I've seen approximately 78 films this year. Couldn't get to them all. Sue me.
So, without further adieu, I present to you my End of Year Rankings for 2011. Enjoy.
THE TOP TEN 1. Drive - Left as much if not more of an indelible mark upon me as any film this year. I loved it. I love the simplistic script, the synthesized soundtrack, and of course, the magnificent central character, Driver. Gosling freaking kills it in this role and embodies every aspect of his character's deceptively multi-faceted persona. For lack of a better term, Drive is just cool, one or two tiny missteps away from a true masterpiece. A+ 2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 - Everything I could have hoped for in a finale. It brought so many moments to life in just the right ways and serves as a perfect cap to an outstanding series of films. In the future, I'll consider Part I and Part II one big movie (like I do with The Lord of the Rings) and I think that's a darn good movie. But this installment is where the real meat and potatoes comes into play and where the series makes its biggest impact. A+
3. 50/50 - I had the good fortune of seeing 50/50 about six weeks before it opened in theaters. I laughed, I cried, and I came away so impressed that I went back to see it on opening weekend. This is a crowning achievement in filmmaking from top to bottom. When I look back on 2011, I believe 50/50 will be the first film that comes to mind. A+ 4. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - I'm pretty sure I mentioned this film more than any other film in 2011 with the possible exception of Harry Potter. I was borderline obsessed with it, so much so that I penned 1,500 words about it when I realized I wouldn't be able to see it until a month after its release. Intelligent, complex, and tense, TTSS gives new meaning to the term "slow burn" and yet it's incredibly engrossing. A
5. The Descendants - When I walked out of my screening for The Descendants, I thought I had just seen the eventual Best Picture winner. I've cooled off of that feeling a bit since then but even still, this is an outstanding film. It is at times difficult to watch as it operates within an often dreary atmosphere and yet director Alexander Payne manages to find humor at just the right times to prevent his movie from becoming depressing. A
6. The Muppets - To call The Muppets a success would be the understatement of the year. It embodies all of the nostalgic goodness of the original Muppet entries while offering a few new angles that make this a decisively refreshing experience. The music is incredible and it is unquestionably the most fun I had in a movie theater this year (and maybe significantly longer). A 7. Hugo - Scorsese's ode to the pioneers of filmmaking. Beautiful, exquisitely directed (duh), and extremely personal. It bums me out that this film brought in so few viewers but if you get a chance to check it out, I encourage you to do so. A 8. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - This is the most surprising film of the year for me. As a fan of the previous Mission: Impossible installments, I expected to enjoy this movie and then forget about it until it popped up on TNT in three years. Instead, I was treated to one of the more intelligent, pulse-pounding action movies in recent memory. So. Much. FUN. A 9. Tree of Life - I debated on where to put Tree of Life on this list. I could have gone as high as second or as low as ten. My opinion on what I think this movie is really about changes on a daily basis but there's absolutely no denying the fact that is a remarkably well-made film. More than any other movie this year, this is one that you simply have to see for yourself before you form an opinion. It is also one of the most beautiful films I have EVER seen. A
10. Super 8 - This was the best movie from the first half of the year in my opinion. It contains a fantastic story, some seriously good special effects, and surprisingly good acting across the board. The combination of Steven Spielberg and JJ Abrams plays out more beautifully than I could have imagined and every moment of Super 8 reeks of these two great filmmakers. A
THE BOTTOM TEN I Am Number Four - Between Beastly (which made my Top 15 Worst Movies I Didn't See in 2011 list) and this one, it's safe to say the shine has worn off Alex Pettyfer's star. Number Four had a cool concept but it never gets off the ground, due in large part to Pettyfer's lack of acting ability.
The Change-Up - I knew going in that this would be a train wreck but even that term isn't quite enough to describe this. Everyone loves a comedy that delivers zero laughs, right? D
Green Lantern - BY FAR the worst movie I saw in a theater this year. All the signs were there but the summer blockbuster/superhero nerd inside got the best of me. So there I sat at a midnight screening, being treated to one of the most painful cinematic experiences of my life. D
Another Earth - I saw a number of top 10 lists that mentioned this movie. And strangely enough, I kinda get that. If you can get past all of the screw-ups related to the sci-fi portion of the plot, I can see how someone could dig Another Earth. I could not get past that stuff, however. Rubbish. D Killer EliteD The SitterD J. EdgarD
Scream 4 - Awful. Just awful. All Scream 4 did was remind me of why I don't watch scary movies. D
Priest - Here's the thing: of the five movies I just listed, if you forced me at gun point to watch one of them again, I would choose Priest. It is so bad and mixes so many horrible cliches with a host of embarrassing performances that it almost becomes funny. It's one of those bad movies. And I think at this point we have to wonder if Paul Bettany is in some sort of financial trouble. F
In Time - Unquestionably the worst movie of the year. F
EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN Grade: A Crazy, Stupid, Love - Undoubtedly a flawed film but as I said in my initial review, the flaws just make this seem all the more realistic. These are real humans at work within CSL and all of them exhibit strengths and weaknesses throughout the movie. In addition, this movie served as a reminder to me that Ryan Gosling is an incredible actor. Easily the best date movie since 500 Days of Summer.
Warrior - Great sports action but more importantly, a compelling human interest story. If you're a Movie Crier, just know that big tears are a' comin' if you rent this one. Take Shelter
Grade: A-
The Help - Tough to keep this one out of the top 10. Great performances all around, including one of the best by a leading lady in several years. Viola Davis should be given the Oscar right now.
X-Men: First Class - I think First Class holds up against the best of the comic book/superhero genre (Nolan's Batman films aside, of course). Really fun, good action, and a superb cast led by Michael Fassbender, who had one of my favorite performances of the year. Midnight in Paris Martha Marcy May Marlene Pearl Jam 20
Source Code - If you're a filmmaker and you're trying to catch my attention, creating a smart, original piece of sci-fi is probably the easiest way to make that happen. Between Source Code and 2009's Moon, Duncan Jones is rapidly becoming one of my favorite directors.
Attack the Block - One off the cooler blends of sci-fi and horror that I've seen in a while. I'm not sure I understood 25% of the dialogue but that's alright, it was still a blast.
Bridesmaids - My pick for Best Comedy of the Year (in a decidedly unfunny year), this made superstars out of both Kristin Wiig and Melissa McCarthy. Hilarious and so wrong.
Captain America - Not quite up to the caliber of X-Men but still a likable and lively superhero flick. I also really enjoyed the sort-of antiquated patriotism of the main character which, obviously, fit the storyline.
Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop - I wouldn't say this was an entirely insightful documentary but as a longtime Conan fan, it was very interesting to get a behind-the-scenes look at his life and career. Great subject matter. Horrible Bosses - A close runner-up to Bridesmaids for Best Comedy. The Bateman-Sudiekis-Day lineup is quite strong but the supporting work of Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrel really sold this one for me.
The Adventures of Tintin - A much more worthy successor to the Indiana Jones legacy than Shia LaBeouf will ever be. What Tintin lacks in plot it makes up for in pure fun and excitement.
Cave of Forgotten Dreams - If you haven't heard of this one, it's definitely worth looking into. It is shot with what amounts to a handheld camcorder inside a cave in France that contains the oldest known human drawings. Cave is as stripped down as it gets but it is nonetheless fascinating.
Grade: B+
The Adjustment Bureau - 2011 was somewhat of a throw-back year. Between the values of Captain America, the resurgence of the Muppets, and even the early Spielbergian feel to Super 8, we were treated to a heavy dose of an old school mentality. Adjustment Bureau set the tone for that trend early in 2011 with a decisively retro narrative that I really enjoyed. It's not a movie I want to see over and over again, but it is nonetheless a touching romance and a solid piece of sci-fi.
Moneyball - My pick for Most Overrated Film of the Year. Not that it's bad in any way, I just don't think it's worthy of the Best Picture nomination it is almost certain to receive. At the end of the day, it's still a film about a baseball team that didn't win a World Series title and builds a major storyline around whether or not said team will win its 19th consecutive game.
The Guard - A quality dark comedy headlined by one outstanding performance (Brendan Gleeson) that for me, overshadows the merits of the film as a whole.
Fast Five - A film that serves as an illustration of the top quality the 2011 movie calendar brought to the table: fun. That's what the Fast franchise is and Fast Five is the best of the group (by a fair margin). If you plan on checking this one out at some point, let me help you out: if at anytime you begin saying to yourself, "that could NEVER happen", just go ahead and stop watching. This movie isn't for you.
War Horse - Another film I don't think is worthy of a Best Picture nomination. War Horse definitely has its merits and it gets better as it goes but it just doesn't do it for me. Then again, I don't like horses. So...
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Possibly David Fincher's first misstep. Far too much choppiness in the early stages makes for an unbalanced experience.
The Debt - Not a seamless blend between past and present but The Debt developed a compelling story and presented us with two solid performances by Helen Mirren and Jessica Chastain. Chastain had an outstanding year with her work in The Help and Tree of Life drawing a lot of attention but for me, this was her best portrayal.
Blackthorn - It's easy to sell me on a film about an aging Butch Cassidy; the Butch and Sundance legend is one of my all-time favorites. But add in Sam Shepard, one of the better actors of his generation, as Butch and you've got yourself a fan. Really good movie that no one will see.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - Good follow-up to one of the more enjoyable films of 2009 but not quite up to par in my mind. Always fun to watch Robert Downey Jr. work, though.
Kung Fu Panda 2 - Outside of Tintin, this is the only animated film that was really worth seeing in 2011. I dig the first Kung Fu Panda and adding Gary Oldman's voice to the cast wasn't a half-bad idea. And visually speaking, this is a beautiful film.
Thor - Would have found a place much higher on my list without the superfluous and painfully cliche characters played by Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings. I don't understand the purpose of putting high-profile actresses into these damsel in distress roles if you're not going to give them ANYTHING to work with. I also found the villain, Loki, to be a bit dull. I'm concerned about his presence in The Avengers this summer. A Better Life Young Adult
The Ides of March - I struggled with what to write about Ides more than any other film on this list. There are some outstanding performances at work here but the overall story, while fine, is more than a little bland. There's just nothing new here and that leaves it punch less in my book.
Dolphin Tale - A perfectly acceptable family film. Yes it is full of cliches and yes the child actors are occasionally terrible, but there's a worthwhile story to be told here and it's presented in a harmless, somewhat touching way.
B
The Beaver - The best performance from Mel Gibson in a long, long time. That's not really hard to do, of course, since Gibson has basically been out of the business for the last decade, but it's still a nice reminder of what the guy is capable of when he's not, you know, making anti-Semitic statements and drinking like a member of the Jersey Shore cast.
We Bought a Zoo - Much like Dolphin Tale, there's nothing wrong with Zoo as a family-film. I just wanted more from a Cameron Crowe production. Matt Damon, though, is great and there are a few truly special moments hidden away here and there.
Contagion - Perhaps the most telling thing I can say about this movie is that I saw it only a three months ago and yet I remember almost nothing about it. I was bored through most of it.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Hands down, best special effects I saw this year. Andy Serkis deserves some sort of Oscar for the genuine life he gave to the apes in this movie. Just spectacular in that department. But for me, everything else about Apes is a let-down. It's basically a B-movie with great effects. Worth seeing once for the visuals alone but that was enough for me.
Unknown - I always like Liam Neeson's brand of action. He simultaneously manages to come across as if he doesn't take his roles too seriously and yet he's busting his butt to make your experience enjoyable. Unknown isn't up to par compared to Taken (which I unabashedly love) but it has some fun twists and turns and it's always nice to see Neeson beating the crap out of European tough guys.
The Mechanic - You could probably sell me on this movie belonging higher up the list. If nothing else, this is one of Jason Statham's better films and one that has more value from a storytelling perspective than his typical endeavor.
Cedar Rapids - I don't know why Cedar didn't work for me. There was just something about it that kept me at bay. I found it to be fairly humorous, I just didn't buy into it the way many respected critics did.
Beginners - Like several other films that find themselves in the middle of my list, I think Beginners is overshadowed by a single performance. Christopher Plummer is incredible as an aging widower who comes out of the closet just before he is diagnosed with terminal cancer. This is the only performance that is a lock to receive a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nod and it will be totally deserved. But beyond Plummer's work and an adorable dog that Ewan McGregor hangs out with, I didn't find much within this movie to get excited about. And I was wholly annoyed by Melanie Laurent's character.
The Thing - My pick for Best Horror Movie of the Year even if it is by default. John Carpenter's 1982 version is a classic and while this vision doesn't quite compare, it's also far from an embarrassment.
The Lincoln Lawyer - I didn't think it was possible to watch a Matthew McConaughey movie and enjoy it but Lincoln Lawyer worked for me. Possibly even more shocking, McConaughey wasn't the worst actor in the cast! In fact, it wasn't even close. Ryan Phillippe's performance was so wooden and cliche-riddled that he actually made McConaughey look good. Way to go, Ryan! Puss in Boots
Arthur - I've never been a big fan of Russell Brand but I didn't think this was nearly as bad as people made it out to be. Sure, all the laughs were cheap but it made me laugh nonetheless and that's all I wanted from it.
Grade: B-
Cars 2 - Without question, the most disappointing film of the year. As a Pixar junkie, I anticipate each picture from that company as much if not more than just about any other film year in and year out. I still won't go so far as to call Cars 2 a bad movie but man, what a flop compared to what we've become accustomed to.
The Green Hornet - I enjoyed this one the first time I saw it. But then it popped up on HBO or Starz or something and I watched it again. Not so enjoyable the second time around.
Gnomeo and Juliet - Yet another example of "acceptable family fare" that doesn't impress otherwise. I did, however, dig the Elton John-heavy soundtrack. Can't go wrong there.
Battle: Los Angeles - I still don't understand the absolute hatred thrown at this movie. No, it isn't great and yes, it's full of alien/action movie cliches. But I found it to be far from the "worst movie" candidate it was made out to be.
Just Go With It - I refuse to see this again because I actually kind-of-sort-of enjoyed it the first time around and judging by the HORRIBLE reviews it has received, I was clearly wrong to not hate it. I don't want to be proven wrong. Perhaps by exceedingly low expectations allowed me to look past the issues. I don't know.
Cowboys and Aliens - What a waste. So much talent both on screen and off of it and yet C&A never finds its stride or gains any momentum. Probably would have been better served if it had stuck with the Western theme and left the aliens out altogether. I would pay to see a Western starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford and directed by Jon Favreau.
Paul - The first 45 minutes of this movie are solid and entertaining. The back half...not so much. I appreciate the concept but the execution is sloppy.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Unfortunately, this movie made a crapload of cash which will undoubtedly lead to more sequels. I'm tired of Jack Sparrow now, however. Pirates came across as a cash grab and delivered almost nothing new.
Blitz - The perfect movie for a late night Netflix viewing. Lots of energy, short runtime, multiple chase scenes.
The Company Men - This is the classic "B-" movie: I can't really think of anything to say about it, good or bad. It just "is."
Super - There have been so many vigilante movies over the last few years that I think we've reached a point where a filmmaker will have to really reinvent the genre to get me excited about this concept again. I thought Super lacked any sort of flow and I wasn't impressed by the script.
The Hangover Part 2 - Because, as everyone knows, the secret to making a great sequel is to put the exact same cast in the exact same situations and have them do the exact same things. Embarrassing.
Tower Heist - With a decent director at the helm, I think Tower Heist probably turns out alright. Unfortunately, Brett Ratner was in charge and he makes films that are the cinematic equivalent to a midday bowel movement.
Rango - There's a great deal of love out there for Rango and I get that. I was hung up on some of its bigger issues and couldn't get past them and even the good moments weren't enough to make me want to sit through it again.
Rio - Boring. It's just boring. I felt like it would never end. I can't imagine a child enjoying this beyond the pretty colors. Higher Ground Happythankyoumoreplease - There's some promise within this movie and you can bet that writer/director/star Josh Radnor (of How I Met Your Mother fame) will get another chance to make a film. But there are too many plot holes for my tastes and Radnor's character becomes annoying quickly.
Grade: C
Hanna - Similar to Rango, a number of people have Hanna ranked somewhere in their top ten. As an artistic action film, I guess I get that. But I hated this movie and virtually everything about it. HATED it.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon - This is the tale of two movies. The first 90 minutes is what passes for Michael Bay's attempt at creating a "serious" plot. And it stands as one of the worst movies EVER in the history of film. But in the back half, Bay returns to what he knows best: explosions, gun play, and special effects. And that movie is pretty darn good as far as plotless action movies go. I have no idea what to do with that. I would totally watch that second movie again. I would never, ever, ever subject myself to the first 90ish minutes again. In fact, I expect President Obama to pass some sort of law that prevents the military from using those 90 minutes as a tool for torture. Brett Ratner thinks that first movie is a piece of crap. The Three Musketeers Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Apollo 18
Our Idiot Brother - Loved Paul Rudd in this movie and thought everything else was rotten. I really did not like any of the characters outside of Rudd's.
Friends with Benefits - I did not laugh. I did not like the characters. I did not care whether or not the characters I did not like would get together. The only good thing about this movie was Woody Harrelson, who killed me in his limited screen time. Otherwise, no thanks.
30 Minutes or Less - When Jesse Eisenberg and Aziz Ansari were on screen together, I enjoyed 30 Minutes. Everything else, though, came across as pointless filler.
Suckerpunch - If you told me Suckerpunch was the worst film of the year, I wouldn't argue with you. It's just a train wreck on almost every level. I think at this point we have to really be concerned about director Zack Snyder's vision for Superman in next year's Man of Steel.
No Strings Attached - This is pretty much the exact same movie as Friends with Benefits. The only difference is that Woody Harrelson is not involved, which is always a poor choice.
Bad Teacher - There's a lot not to like about this one. But the biggest issue for me is how morally bankrupt and completely reprehensible Cameron Diaz's character is from top to bottom. I could not, on any level, root for her character to succeed. The Way Larry Crowne - You have to try REALLY hard to make Tom Hanks unappealing. Mission accomplished, Larry Crowne! A truly painful movie.
Limitless - Hate the story, hate the characters, hate that Robert De Niro looks desperate in his role. Hate it.
The Eagle - Of all the bad movies on this list, this is the one that I hope you'll take the time to click the link and read the review for. There are so many miserable things I want to say about The Eagle if only I had the time. Channing Tatum plays a Roman soldier. That's really all you need to know.
I would wager that the worst part about making a hit movie is the follow-up. As a writer, director, or actor, you spend months or even years putting together the best film you can (unless you’re Nicolas Cage, in which case you just show up and lackadaisically hope for the best), hoping to create a movie you’re proud of and that finds an audience. Then it happens and you enjoy it for about a week, until you realize that now you have to figure out a way to follow a $300 million hit. In an era in which at least half of the top-grossing films are the year are sequels or reboots, the pressing to return to the lab and pop out a follow-up must be extreme. It is within this pressure cooker-like atmosphere that so many films stumble and succumb to sequelitis, an affliction that takes down many a film before they even get out of the gates. Going in, I wondered if A Game of Shadows could safely navigate around the pitfalls of sequeling (if you’re keeping track at home, that’s two made-up words already) and come out a companion to an original film I liked quite a lot. The result was a mixed bag.
Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) has seen better days. As his obsession with exposing the diabolical plot of the well-respected Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) threatens to overwhelm him, his former partner, Doctor James Watson (Jude Law), gets married, leaving Holmes feeling quite alone. But when he learns that Moriarty intends to murder Watson, Holmes hastily throws together a plan that sends Watson’s wife, Mary (), into hiding and brings the dynamic duo together for one last case. While unraveling an immense and complex tapestry that takes them all across a Europe that is on the brink of war, Holmes discovers that Moriarty’s schemes go deeper than even he could have ever imagined and he soon finds himself drawn into a game he isn’t entirely sure he can win.
I loved the first Sherlock Holmes and it shocked me to learn that there are a large number of people who do not share my love. I’m not saying these naysayers are wrong; I’m just saying that everyone I know personally is a fan of the film and it took me by surprise to look back at the reviews and see that many critics, both professionals and amateurs, that I trust really don’t care for Sherlock in the least. I found it to be a wildly entertaining film chock full of fun, easy wit, and a unique charm. It doesn’t hurt that RDJ is one of my very favorite actors but I think his interpretation of Holmes is fantastic and fresh. A Game of Shadows jumps right back into this fun, expansive world director Guy Ritchie built in the first film and this fact is both its biggest strength and greatest weakness.
When making a sequel, I think the toughest thing to do is determine what elements of the first film will be incorporated and what will be left alone. You don’t want to create an exact replica of what worked the first time around (see: The Hangover Part II) but you also don’t want to stray too far from what made the first film a success (see: Ocean’s 12). This is where A Game of Shadows stumbles. The cool slow-motion action sequences that worked so well in Sherlock, for example, are used again here, only this time they’re obviously less unique and therefore seem a bit reheated. There’s no questioning the skill behind the camera that goes into creating these scenes; it’s just that we’ve seen it done before now and this time around it seems somewhat lazy. Likewise, the whole “inner monologue played out on the screen” bit comes across as tired this time around and while Ritchie uses it well as the film progresses, the early instances are mediocre. At the same time, the dialogue is not nearly as witty and well-versed as it was in Sherlock Holmes and the plot is less enticing than I would have liked. Ritchie seems to struggle with deciding what to recreate and what to make new.
This doesn’t mean that A Game of Shadows is without merit. The dynamic that exists between RDJ and Law is worth the price of admission in and of itself. They have a genuine chemistry that displays itself time and time again throughout the film. Each outlandish sequence and plot twist is as enjoyable as they were in the first film and Ritchie again shows off an ability to create funny moments in the midst of would-be tense situations. Harris, too, provides a more than competent adversary for Holmes. If you know anything about the Holmes story within Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s books, you know that Moriarty was Holmes’ equal intellectually and that equality plays out nicely within A Game of Shadows, though I personally like Holmes more when he’s fighting to disprove the supernatural rather than matching wits with a mere mortal. And as you would expect, the film’s reveal, the final moments in which Holmes brings all of his questionable choices together to illuminate his master plan, is compelling.
All of this makes A Game of Shadows a quality film that is inferior to its predecessor. If you enjoyed the first film as I did, you will most likely enjoy this one as well. Just be prepared for a few sequelitis-related missteps and a somewhat less enthralling narrative.
Every year, I find that the toughest end-of-year post for me to write is this one. Picking the worst movies I didn't see is pretty easy (coming up with something to write about each of them without cursing can be difficult) and my top 10 list usually comes down to figuring out the last movie to make the list. But judging performances is much more difficult. So many great films have more than one excellent performance, more than one actor who strikes a chord with me and deserves special mention. When I sat down to lay out the framework of this list, I wrote down 30 names. 30 names that had to be whittled down to 10. I've made my picks but if the years past are any indication, I'll probably want to come back and change a selection or two in a few months. But for now, please enjoy my 10 Favorite Performances of 2011 and be sure to tell me some of your own.
(NOTE: The key to this list is "favorite" not "best." Those two words will blend together a bit at times but it needs to be stated up front. There are a number of great performances from this year that are undoubtedly better than some of those listed here but these are the ones that I personally loved.)
Honorable Mention #1 The Cast of Crazy, Stupid, Love I couldn't differentiate between the respective work done by Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, and Emma Stone (et al). And I think that's what makes the film work; none of these characters really stand up on their own without the others. Carell yet again brings genuine heart to his role, Gosling displays a different element to his acting repertoire, and Stone is insanely charming. Loved them all.
Honorable Mention #2 Michael Stuhlbarg - Rene Tabard, Hugo The only reason I left Stuhlberg off the list is because his character only graces the screen for about eight minutes total. Still, in the midst of an outstanding cast, it is Stuhlberg's work that stuck with me. For me, his character, a film preservationist and historian, represents Scorsese on-screen and his love for the cinema bleeds through in each of his limited scenes.
10. Joel Edgerton - Brendan Conlon, Warrior Most people who saw Warrior would list Edgerton behind Tom Hardy and Nick Nolte as the best part of the movie. Nolte plays the drunk very well and Hardy brings the appropriate anger and detachment to his role, but without Edgerton's quiet desperation, this film becomes just another sports movie. I found his portrayal to be sobering and genuine and I thought he nailed the spirit of the underdog.
9. Anna Kendrick - Katherine, 50/50 Somewhere off in an alternate universe, there's an Anna Kendrick who cashed in her Twilight chips to star in a litany of embarrassingly bad rom-coms and craptastic teenager fare. Thankfully, the Anna Kendrick in this universe made the brilliant choice to exit the Twilight scene and take on movies like Up in the Air and 50/50. She has become one of my favorite actresses and her turn as a therapist in this movie was perfect for the narrative, providing Joseph Gordon-Levitt (more on him in a moment) with an excellent sounding board and a compassionate friend. Their awkward will-they-or-won't-they romance, too, is a real treat.
8. Tom Cruise - Ethan Hunt, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol I've said it before and I'm sure I'll have to say it again: whatever you have against Cruise personally, you cannot deny that the dude brings it every single time. I'm not sure there's any action flick actor who wants his film to be good the way Cruise does. In Ghost Protocol, he goes all out in every scene and creates a presence for himself that he hasn't had in many years. I loved this movie but I think it comes up a bit short with many other quality actors in Cruise's place. Put simply, this is a boss action performance and I'm glad to have Cruise back at the top of his game.
7. Alan Rickman - Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 This one is sort of a cumulative mention. Over the course of the last 10 years of Harry Potter films, fans of the series were treated to a number of quality performances by some of the best actors in the business. None of them, in my mind, had as difficult a task as Rickman. Snape has to be a bad guy without really becoming a villain and his motives seemingly change so many times throughout the films, you can understand why Rickman was hesitant about accepting the role in the first place. Deathly Hallows 2 is Rickman's moment in the sun, his chance to shine and he comes through wonderfully. The scene in which Snape reveals, as it were, the truths about his relationship with Harry is exactly what I wanted it to be and I don't think it could have been nearly as impactful without 10 years of outstanding work from Rickman.
6. Shailene Woodley - Alexandra King, The Descendants This is the performance that surprised me the most this year and it wasn't even close. If you would have told me at the beginning of the year that the girl from The Secret Life of the American Teenager, a show so bad that even my wife (who loves ALL high school-related dramas) couldn't watch two episodes, would make this list, I would have named you a liar and had you flogged. And now I would regret that action because you were right, friend who could see the future. Alexandra is foul-mouthed, ill-tempered, and embittered but she also displays genuine love for her father and sister. Putting that mix together and making it work is a tall order but Woodley does all of that and more. And her ability to hang with George Clooney throughout a number of one-on-one scenes is what takes this performance over the top. I can't wait to see what sort of future Woodley has ahead of her.
5. Michael Fassbender - Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, X-Men: First Class Perhaps this is a bit of an odd pick considering this is, after all, a superhero movie. But as has been proven time and time again, a superhero (or in this case, a group of superheroes) is only as good as the villain he battles. If Fassbender's performance in First Class is any indication, the X-Men better pick up their collective game in future installments of this series. The undercurrent of rage that runs through every action Magneto makes gives new life to a character that had already been done pretty stinking well by Ian McKellen. What I love about Fassbender is that no matter what his role, he forces the audience to pay attention to him. That's a valuable asset in any film but it's an unexpected and especially nice touch in a popcorn, comic book movie.
4. Viola Davis - Aibileen Clark, The Help There's not a lot for me to say about Davis' work in this movie other than the following: for me, this is the best performance by a lead actress that I've seen in years. This is a strong and powerful portrayal that at times gave me chills. Just a beautiful job by Davis.
3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Adam, 50/50 I think future generations will look back at the collective, "Meh" our various award shows gave JGL's performance in 50/50 and wonder what exactly our problem was. I really don't understand it. I found his work to be so real, so genuine that at times I almost forgot I was watching a work of fiction, not a very well-cut documentary. JGL brought humanity to a truly demanding role (a 28 year-old cancer patient) and managed to make the audience both laugh and cry, occasionally at the same time. Throughout the film you can tell that Adam is just barely holding it together and that makes his eventual breakdown all the more powerful. I loved this movie and his performance and the fact that it's getting virtually no love makes me want to break things.
2. Gary Oldman - George Smiley, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy There's a scene in TTSS in which Smiley is sitting in a dark room with his protege, Peter. He's had a couple of drinks and he begins telling Peter about the time he met Karla, the leader of the Soviet Union. And then he turns to this empty chair and begins talking to it as if Karla was in the room. He even offers the invisible man a cigarette. And it's the best scene in a terrific movie. That's how good Gary Oldman is. Here's this aging spy, surrounded by the furnishings of a crappy hotel room filled with smoke, talking to an empty chair and I was absolutely riveted. Can we please get this man an Oscar nomination now?
1. Ryan Gosling - Driver, Drive Going in, I really didn't think Gosling had what it takes to pull off a good tough guy. He's just too pretty. Well I was wrong. In fact, it's almost impossible to describe how awesome Gosling is in this role. If I had one 2011 movie character to back me up in a fight (super powers aside), it would be Driver. Everything about him is both cool and terrifying. The determined manner in which he takes on a dangerous task, the driving gloves that he only puts on when he means business, and that satin jacket...this guy is a boss and there's no way around it. Gosling is able to convey SO MUCH about his character, his feelings, his intention, while speaking only a few, measured words and that Driver becomes this sort of quiet menace who no one really wants to mess with. It's not like Gosling was some unknown actor before Drive but his performance here served as an eye-opening experience for me, a demonstration as to just what this guy is capable of. It is a masterful performance and one that will stick with me for years to come.
There's been a ton of blogosphere discussion over the last few weeks as to whether 2011 was good or bad for film. The box office definitely works in favor of the "bad" side of the argument as ticket sales plummeted to their lowest level in 15 years. The Academy Awards, too, seem to indicate a down year as we're likely to see less than the maximum ten films nominated for Best Picture and many of the acting award slots will be handed out almost by default (outside of the Best Actor race, which is thick). For me, though, 2011 was a deceptively strong year. From week to week, it was somewhat rough; I can't remember a year that held more, "I don't want to see any of these movies" weekends than this one did. But at the same time, most of the films I did see managed, at the very least, to provide acceptable entertainment and a number of this year's entries were quite good. I had real trouble deciding which films to put into the Top 10, an issue I don't usually have. I saw a lot of movies this year, I had a lot of fun in theaters, and I only had to see one movie in 3D. In my book, that equals a good year. Please enjoy my Top 10 Films of 2011.
Honorable Mention
Crazy, Stupid, Love - Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone
Warrior and The Help deserve special mention as films that just missed consideration in my top 10 list. Both were exceptional films and Warrior is one I plan on seeing numerous times. But Crazy, Stupid, Love is the one that hurts to exclude. It is undoubtedly a flawed film but as I said in my initial review, the flaws just make this seem all the more realistic. These are real humans at work within CSL and all of them exhibit strengths and weaknesses throughout the movie. In addition, this movie served as a reminder to me that Ryan Gosling is an incredible actor (more on him in a moment). This is easily the best date movie since 500 Days of Summer.
10. Super 8 - Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler
This was the best movie from the first half of the year in my opinion. It contains a fantastic story, some seriously good special effects, and surprisingly good acting across the board. The combination of Steven Spielberg and JJ Abrams plays out more beautifully than I could have imagined and every moment of Super 8 wreaks of these two great filmmakers. Elements of Cloverfield, E.T., The Goonies, and Stand By Me are at play here and they all blend together seamlessly.
9. Tree of Life - Brad Pitt, Jessica Chastain, Hunter McCracken I debated on where to put Tree of Life on this list. I could have gone as high as second or as low as ten. My opinion on what I think this movie is really about changes on a daily basis but there's absolutely no denying the fact that is a remarkably well-made film. There was a great differing of opinion regarding Tree of Life that waged all year. I've seen it on the top of many "best of" lists but it also occupied a spot on some "worst of" entries. But more than any other movie this year, this is one that you simply have to see for yourself before you form an opinion. The performances are all great, of course, but for me, Tree of Life is all about Terrence Malick. This is clearly a very personal film and one that probably hits closer to home in more ways than I could ever understand. It is also one of the most beautiful films I have EVER seen.
8. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Tom Cruise, Paula Patton, Jeremy Renner This is the most surprising film of the year for me. As a fan of the previous Mission: Impossible installments, I expected to enjoy this movie and then forget about it until it popped up on TNT in three years. Instead, I was treated to one of the more intelligent, pulse-pounding action movies in recent memory. I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to action flicks (as my love for the Fast and Furious movies will attest) but this is an entirely different animal. Ghost Protocol also reintroduces the world to Cruise, who never really went away but certainly needed a hit. If you haven't seen this film yet and you're not sure how you feel about Cruise, action flicks, or anything else, just trust me and go see it now while it's still in theaters. So. Much. FUN.
7. Hugo - Asa Butterfield, Chloe Grace-Moretz, Ben Kingsley Probably the most complex kid's movie ever, Hugo grabbed hold of me from the very beginning. I loved it and I was fully invested in the narrative involving Hugo's quest to unlock the secret of his father's automaton. When the story shifted and becomes more and more Martin Scorsese's ode to the pioneers of film, my affection only deepened. Hugo is beautiful, exquisitely directed (duh), and extremely personal. It bums me out that this film so few viewers but if you get a chance to check it out, I encourage you to do so.
6. The Muppets - Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper I so badly wanted this movie to be good that I was actually nervous for the week leading up to its release. I loved the Muppets as a kid and still make a point of watching The Muppet Christmas Carol every year. "Life is just better with the Muppets", I've always said. To call The Muppets a success would be the understatement of the year. It embodies all of the nostalgic goodness of the original Muppet entries while offering a few new angles that make this a decisively refreshing experience. The music is incredible and it is unquestionably the most fun I had in a movie theater this year (and maybe significantly longer).
5. The Descendants - George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Judy Greer When I walked out of my screening for The Descendants, I thought I had just seen the eventual Best Picture winner. I've cooled off of that feeling a bit since then but even still, this is an outstanding film. It is at times difficult to watch as it operates within an often dreary atmosphere and yet director Alexander Payne manages to find humor at just the right times to prevent his movie from becoming depressing. Clooney provides yet another Oscar-caliber performance but the real story is Woodley. In multiple scenes, she goes toe-to-toe with Clooney, a member of Hollywood's royalty, and holds her own. Without her performance, I think The Descendants still nets Clooney a Best Actor nomination but the film itself would fall flat.
4. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - Gary Oldman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Colin Firth I'm pretty sure I mentioned this film more than any other film in 2011 with the possible exception of Harry Potter. I was borderline obsessed with it, so much so that I penned 1,500 words about it when I realized I wouldn't be able to see it until a month after its release. I built TTSS up in my mind so much that I didn't think it could possibly live up to expectations...and then it totally did. Intelligent, complex, and tense, TTSS gives new meaning to the term "slow burn" and yet it is incredibly engrossing. The cast is amazing, headlined by the Great Chameleon, Gary Oldman. An absolute must-see for any Oldman fan and (I really hope) the film that finally gets the man an Oscar nomination.
3. 50/50 - Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick I had the good fortune of seeing 50/50 about six weeks before it opened in theaters. I laughed, I cried, and I came away so impressed that I went back to see it on opening weekend. This is a crowning achievement in filmmaking from top to bottom. JGL is perfect in his role as a cancer-stricken 28 year-old and Rogen shows exactly what he's capable of in the right director's hands. More importantly, though, 50/50 is able to both explore a very tough subject and laugh at the disease itself. It is never insensitive but neither is it pious as it manages to strike the perfect balance. Obviously I have two more films to go but when I look back on 2011, I believe 50/50 will be the first film that comes to mind.
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 - Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson Look, I'm biased and I know it. All cards on the table, this film would have had to have been TERRIBLE to miss out on making this list. I admit it. Even still, Deathly Hallows II was everything I could have hoped for in a finale. It brought so many moments to life in just the right ways and serves as a perfect cap to an outstanding series of films. In the future, I'll consider Part I and Part II one big movie (like I do with The Lord of the Rings) and I think that's a darn good movie. But this installment is where the real meat and potatoes comes into play and where the series makes its biggest impact.
1. Drive - Ryan Gosling, Carey Milligan, Albert Brooks It shocks me to my very core that Drive has been shut out of contention for most major awards. This is exactly the type of film that I would expect committee members to love and yet it has been overlooked over and over again. At the same time, it is an absolute thrill that this film found a fairly significant audience. It's an example of what can happen when Hollywood gives us a chance to embrace this sort of indie film. This is not a movie for everyone due to its stripped-down dialogue and hyper-violence but if you can get past those potential stumbling blocks, it's a phenomenal film. Drive left as much if not more of an indelible mark upon me as any film this year. I loved it. I love the simplistic script, the synthesized soundtrack, and of course, the magnificent central character, Driver. Gosling freaking kills it in this role and embodies every aspect of his character's deceptively multi-faceted persona. For lack of a better term, Drive is just cool, one or two tiny missteps away from a true masterpiece.
For the last few years, I have done a post similar to the one you're about to read; it's one of my favorite things to write each year. The concept is based upon a simple principle: I'm good at avoiding bad movies. Someday (read: "never") I'll be paid to write about movies and when that happens, I guess I'll have to accept that this will mean watching a ton of horrible films. But until that time, I'll continue to stay away from the worst-of-the-worst (unless, of course, it involves a superhero, a post-apocalyptic vision of the future, or buddy-comedy shenanigans, all of which I can't resist) and pen this end-of-the-year column. A couple of rules. 1.) I exclude horror movies because I dislike the genre as a whole and it's too easy to pick on Shark Night 3D. 2.) I exclude small films like I Melt with You and Atlas Shrugged because, as bad as those films undoubtedly are, no one cares about them and they're not fun to write about.
Usually this list is ten entries long. 2011, however, was an odd year. We were treated to a number of seriously entertaining films and a large group of quality indie films broke made a significant impact on the industry as a whole. But 2011 also provided an abnormally large number of truly horrible films that you couldn't pay me to see. (Note: if someone would like to pay me to see these movies, you could totally pay me to see these movies.) So I had to cheat a little in order to ensure that none of these films missed out on the attention they so rightly deserve. I present to you The 15 Worst Films I Didn't See in 2011. Enjoy.
Honorable Mention Quick Hits: Passion Play - Mickey Rourke, Megan Fox, Bill Murray Megan Fox as a stripper with angel wings attached to her back. That is all I need say, right?
Sanctum - Rhys Wakefield, Richard Roxburgh, Ioan Gruffudd Because anytime you can make a 3D adventure about euthanasia, you have to do it.
The Dilemma - Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Winona Ryder The entire film is built around the internal conflict a man feels over whether or not he should tell his best friend that his friend's wife is cheating on him. Yes, you should. BOOM. Dilemma over.
Conan the Barbarian - Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan The beginning and end of the Momoa bandwagon.
Your Highness - Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman Who doesn't want to watch a stoner comedy set in a fictitious Medieval kingdom that simultaneously destroys all the good a Best Actress Oscar did for Portman's career? Wait, no one wants to see that? Gotcha.
15. Johnny English Reborn - Rowan Atkinson, Rosamund Pike, Dominic West Rotten Tomatoes Score: 38% Domestic Gross: $8.3m There are few things worse in this world than a sequel to a movie that comes out half a decade or more after an original film that didn't make any money. (The exception to this rule will be the Serenity sequel should it ever come into existence.) For once, though, you can blame Europe instead of America for the dumbing down of the world because while neither of the Johnny English films have managed to break even domestically, they make bank overseas. In my Weekend Movie Guide which corresponded to the opening of Reborn, I attempted to make a deal with Europe that would prevent any more of these films from ever seeing the light of day over here. I have yet to hear back from them.
14. Drive Angry - Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner Rotten Tomatoes Score: 45% Domestic Gross: $10.7m I'd like to give you one of my tips for avoiding bad movies: if you see a trailer for a given movie and, at any point, Nicolas Cage pops his head into the frame, the movie is going to be awful. It's just science. Drive Angry is classic 21st century Cage and I mean that in the worst way possible. This was also a tremendous failure at the box office, drawing in only about half of its $50 million budget worldwide. Ouch. Last but not least, let's have a brief look at the films of Patrick Lussier, director of Drive Angry: Dracula 2000, White Noise 2, My Bloody Valentine, and this. I'm sensing a trend...
13. Abduction - Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Sigourney Weaver, Alfred Molina Rotten Tomatoes Score: 4% Domestic Gross: $28m You know who cannot possibly be taken seriously as an action star? Taylor Lautner. Just listen to that kid's voice and try to be intimidated. It's not happening. The concept is decent enough that you can see why quality actors like Molina and Weaver signed on for this project but wow, this thing went south in a hurry. Also worth special mention: Abduction gets credit for having one of the worst trailers of the year as it completely gives away the "plot" within the first 30 seconds. Bravo. The only good thing about this movie is that American audiences didn't go to see it, suggesting that we're probably done with Lautner when The Twilight Saga finally ends.
12. Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son - Martin Lawrence, Brandon T. Jackson Rotten Tomatoes Score: 5% Domestic Gross: $37.9m "Man, you know what this world needs? Another Big Momma's House movie. Those were the best!" This is a sentence that no one has ever said. For what it is, the first Big Momma movie wasn't bad. The sequel was atrocious. I have no idea how this movie got the green light especially since no one even knows who Martin Lawrence is anymore. Please enjoy this quote from Kam Williams' (loop21.com) positive review, one of the few the Internet has to offer: "What's funnier than a black dude in drag? How about two black dudes in drag?" Enough said.
11. The Smurfs - Neil Patrick Harris, Katy Perry, Hank Azaria, Jayma Mays Rotten Tomatoes Score: 23% Domestic Gross: $142.6m I don't want to be that guy but I guess I'm going to have to be: the cartoon Smurfs was awful. There, I said it. When the trailer for this movie started circulating I wondered aloud, "Who even liked the Smurfs as a kid?" The answer was just about everyone, shockingly enough. They always annoyed me. I don't think I ever watched Smurfs unless I was visiting my grandparents who only had four TV channels and the other options were morning news programs. Therefore, a 103-minute live action version seems a bit like torture. Unfortunately, it made so much money that we'll be treated to a second round of torture in 2013. As an aside, it hurts my soul that Jim Schembri of The Age said in his review that, "The Smurfs will likely be the best, most enjoyable kid film of 2011." No, sir, it will not.
10. Beastly - Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Hudgens, Mary-Kate Olsen, Neil Patrick Harris Rotten Tomatoes Score: 19% Domestic Gross: $27.8m I'm still a little surprised that my wife didn't attempt to drag me to this one. She loves anything involving high school dramas, a subject that makes me want to die. All I really need to know about this movie is that Pettyfer and Hudgens are both miserable actors and that a high school version of Beauty and the Beast is really unnecessary. Apparently NPH gives a solid performance but when you're in two of the fifteen worst movies of the year, should I really care that your performance(s) is good? No.
9. Something Borrowed - Ginnifer Goodwin, John Krasinski, Kate Hudson IMDB score: 5.6 Domestic Gross: $39m Here's the best story that popped up while writing this piece: Originally I had Something Borrowed ranked further up the list, somewhere in the 12-15 range. But then I looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes and found that it doesn't exist on the site. I searched for the title and when it wasn't there I went to the pages of each individual star of this movie. Something Borrowed is nowhere to be found. This is a website that lists pretty much every movie that has been made over the last decade (or more) but as far as they're concerned, Something Borrowed never happened. I'm sure this is just some sort of error and it will be corrected by the time of this publishing but for me, that was the icing on the cake and it demanded a bump up the list.
8. Season of the Witch - Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 10% Domestic Gross: $24.8m The chances of a movie being a real stinker rise dramatically when its release date gets moved around. Originally slated for a March, 2010 release, it was then moved to an unspecified late 2010 date, and then dumped unceremoniously into the first week of January, also known as "The Bone Yard", the place where movies go to die. I can picture studio executives watching Season of the Witch and nervously looking around the room at each other, wondering which one of them would be fired. If there's anything we can depend on Cage for these days, it's that he'll do his best to make sure every movie he's in is comically bad.
7. Zookeeper - Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb Rotten Tomatoes Score: 14% Domestic Gross: $80.3m I've never understood the Kevin James fascination. Hitch is a decent enough movie but after that, what is his major contribution to film? Paul Blart? Grown Ups? Am I missing something here? Loads of people go to see his movies but I don't think I've ever enjoyed one of them. The idea of watching a Kevin James in a movie in which he converses with a gorilla about the merits of TGIFridays...I just don't get it.
6.Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil - Hayden Panettiere, Glenn Close, Patrick Warburton Rotten Tomatoes Score: 11% Domestic Gross: $10.1m This is the third and final sequel to a film that opened at least five years after the original (Hoodwinked debuted in 2005). So if someone in Hollywood is reading this post, clearly this strategy is a serious risk. More importantly, the animation displayed in this movie's trailer is embarrassingly bad. It's blocky and unclear, as if it was recovered from a vault, locked away in 1965. But what really makes Hoodwinked such an easy pick for this list is the title which contains not one, but two word plays. One would probably have been enough to draw my ire but two...well, two is just asking for it. I openly rooted for this movie's failure and seeing as how its worldwide take was only about half of it's $30 million budget, I think I won.
5. I Don't Know How She Does It - Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear Rotten Tomatoes Score: 18% Domestic Gross: $9.6m You could smell the simmering pot of cliches contained within this one from a mile away. Apparently even the "Girls Night Out" crowd picked up on that aroma considering how poorly IDKHSDI performed at the box office. And if Sarah Jessica Parker can't bring in that crowd, then really, what good is she?
4. New Year's Eve - Ashton Kutcher, Zac Efron, Jessica Biel Rotten Tomatoes Score: 7% Domestic Gross: $29.3m I'd like to take a moment to explain to director Garry Marshall why nobody went to see his movie. Even if it hadn't been a semi-sequel to Valentine's Day, one of the worst reviewed films of 2010, and even if the trailer didn't peg it as the biggest pointless money grab of the year, people might have still gone to see your film, Garry, if not for the awful cast. A list of names involved with this movie: Ashton Kutcher. Zac Efron. Jessica Biel. Lea Michele. Halle Berry. Robert De Niro. Sarah Jessica Parker. Abigail Breslin. Michelle Pfeiffer. Common. Jon Bon Jovi. Katherine Heigl. Hilary Swank. Sofia Vergara. Do you see where I'm going here? Once upon a time some of those names could have brought in an audience. But not in 2011. Heigl and Efron are the closest to current movie stardom but even their values are rapidly diminishing. Add in that abortion of a trailer and you've got the making for a tremendous flop. Please stop making movies, Garry.
3. Jack and Jill - Adam Sandler, Al Pacino, Katie Holmes Rotten Tomatoes Score: 4% Domestic Gross: $71m It makes me sad that Adam Sandler had a hand in no less than three movies on this list (Zookeeper, Jack and Jill, andour number one selection). Once upon a time I loved the guy. Now I wish he would go the Sean Connery route and stop making movies altogether. Jack and Jill received exactly three fresh reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Two of them were of the, "It's not good but I laughed a few times" variety. The other is a rousing endorsement from Mr. Michael A. Smith of Mediamikes.com. Looking in on Smith's reviews, I see he did not like Drive or Tree of Life. So to sum up: Jack and Jill - YES, Drive/Tree of Life - NO. Alright then. The only good thing about this movie is that it was dumbed down enough to get a PG rating and therefore qualify as an actual kid's movie. I don't know why that matters to me but some reason it seems slightly important.
2. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I - Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner Rotten Tomatoes Score: 26% Domestic Gross: $268.8m I've never included one of the Twilight films on my "Worst Of.." lists before, partly because there are usually ten movies that seem worse and partly because it's almost too easy, cliche even, to bash on Twilight. It's low hanging fruit. That changed this year because of the first trailer which is EASILY the worst of the year. The first time I saw it, I literally thought I was seeing a preview for the newest Scary Movie. I'm not joking. It was not until Taylor Lautner appeared on screen that I realized this was an actual movie, not a rip off. The fact that the studio behind Twilight looked at this trailer and thought, "Yes, that's exactly what we want to convey to our potential audience" confirms every negative feeling I've ever had toward this franchise. Add in the birth scene which has been known to cause seizures and you've got yourself a wretched movie.
1. Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star - Nick Swardson, Don Johnson, Christina Ricci Rotten Tomatoes Score: 0% Domestic Gross: $2.5m When I started making this list, Bucky Larson was the first movie that came to mind. In fact, for a while, I contemplated skipping the list altogether and writing a diatribe about how appalling this movie really seems to be. There is so much I'd like to say about this movie but in order to keep this brief, I'm just going to list my three favorite things concerning the Bucky Larson phenomenon.
1.) Despite a HEAVY advertising campaign, it topped out at 1,500 theaters (Jack and Jill went out to 3,400+ theaters) and was down to about seven theaters within a week. With this limited run, it couldn't even recoup its exceptionally meager $10 million budget.
2.) I trashed Bucky Larson so frequently and with such venom that at one point, I was followed by The official Twitter feed of the movie. It's funny enough that I mentioned this heap of crap enough times to garner a follow but here's the kicker: whoever is in charge of the Bucky Larson Twitter feed started sending mean-spirited comments in response to my trashing of the movie! Hilarious.
3.) But most importantly, Bucky Larson revived my faith in the American moviegoer. No one, and I mean NO ONE, went to see this movie. Collectively, America watched the trailer and said, "That has to be the worst movie ever made" and everyone left it to sit alone in its own filth. Well done, America. I've never been prouder.
